I am a newbie and was not sure how to attach to pervious post, do forgive me. My husband continues to spiral downward. For 16 years due to religious beliefs he did not: drink, swear, watch r movies, have affairs, lie - now he has done all in 4 months. He just thru his religious stuff in the trash the other day.
He continues to spend more time with his bff, and claims they are just friends. He told me his work after 10 years is looking to fire him, and won't tell me why. He hired a lawyer for when he gets fired to sue to get his job back and for harassment - which now brings the whole family in his psychotic world due to the expense. It all has something to do with the new friends he has acquired the last 4 months at work, including his bff. He says he cannot work on us until the work thing is over. Thing is he was not working on us. He sleeps in the spare room, and now there is no physical contact. I don't mind the no sex because I don't think he is suiting up with the bff, and I don't want a disease. But a hug would be nice. I cannot seem to turn his head my way. He cannot come out with there is an affair because work would fire him on the spot. It is against policy for him to have relationship as he is her supervisor. I am pretty sure he us drinking to be intimate with her,as it gives him an out- I was drunk. He also sleepwalks and will get intimate during that- a few times he told me he fell asleep on her couch. He gets off work at 11 at night and has lots excuses to hang with his bff, meanwhile I get to be the babysitter.
I read the 5 languages of love as suggested. The only one I can do is words of affirmation, ad I cannot get near him for others. I was doing last resort but it wad not working as he felt that I had abandoned him.
What do I do next? Any suggestions would be great. I need peeps to talk with as everyone I know says get a divorce. I don't want a divorce because I love him still and I don't want him living somewhere else because his friends are scum and I don't want them around my kids. My counselor who has not seen my husband warned me to be safe. She said he is having mental issues and these are the kind of people that all the sudden snap and kill their family.
I am not sure what to do next. I feel like I have to wait until him and his bff relationship starts to faulture. Please help?
Please stick to one thread. By doing so, it makes it easier for you to track your progress as well as allowing us to follow along w/you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
They date OP much lower than them They begin to lie, steel, spend and cheat Its part of the crises
Im glad you are in Therapy, but just because someone is MLC does not meet they will kill their family
The main things you can do are take care of yourself, eat well , rest and sleep, talk to trusted people, go to therapy, pray if you have beliefs
Your H may swirl down and there is not much you can do to help him They have their journey MLC is caused by unresolved childhood issues and only the MLCer can fix that We can't
Many will not do the work it will take to get better and therefore will spiral down It takes many years for them to work thru it and some will get thru some will continue in destruction for years to come
We don't have to go down with the ship
Take care of the finances Watch the money closely..they spend a lot
He is not the same, as he was and all that he was is GONE for now Its hard to believe because we knew them when they were reliable
Keep posting Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
