Hi Everyone, I been reading from this area for the past two months and I though is time for me to share my story so maybe I can get some feedback on what I been doing and plan to do on the future. It would be greatly appreciated. :-)
I am currently going thru divorce since my wife filed on January 21st. We are still living together she is moving on April to her own apartment. We been together for over 12 years married 7 (almost 8 on June 3rd but divorce trial is on 5/30/14), got 3 kids (10b, 6g, 4b) and we are each others first love, relationship and spouse (everything). The reason for the d is mostly emotional damage on her by my actions and ignorance. I have been working on becoming a better husband, father and man by going to counselling on my own and visiting church. She doesn't want to work on fixing things she just wants out but would like to stay friends for the sake of the kids. I'm still deeply in love with her and after trying to pursue her to love me again and realizing is not what she wants I step back and stay as a friend being as good as I can be. I know healing takes time so I decided to focus on my kids and me and let her go but is being impossible to detach emotionally from her and thats the part where i need advice. Im hoping for the best trusting GOD and whatever his plans are on his time but since i never have to deal with a broken heart before is being really hard on me. I plan to stay positive and show her that im moving on since we will always be in each others lives one way or the other since we have 3 kids to raise 50/50. I just want to make sure that if there is a tiny chance of reconciliation I dont miss it or screw it up in any way. Feel free to ask me any details you need and say what you think since im pretty open to all kinds of feedback. R.G.
Me 32, H 32 3 kids (10s, 6d, 4s) 12 yrs together 7 married (aniv 6/3) Bomb 12/28, Divorce Trial on 5/30/14
There are definitely things you can be doing differently besides detaching. Depending on what your actions were to push her away, your coach will guide you on how to interact with her when you have contact that won't push her any further away, but will start to bring her closer. I hope you will talk to a DB coach as soon as possible, so that you can start getting your relationship back on track. Take good care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
Hi RG. We seem like in similar sitch. The reason for my W filing for D is mostly emotional damage from my behavior. I took it upon myself to do counseling ...it's been two years ...anger management helped me tremendously but I am codependent and didn't really get the right help until around the time my W filed for divorce. Now she throws that in my face, saying her filing is what is now changing me for the better and if we got back together it wouldn't last and just end up bringing more of the same. My advice to you would be just focus on yourself and your issues. GAL, get the help you need, with the help you will do 180s ...if the W notices and want to reconcile, she will but it is out of your control. And if not, you will still be a better person for it. Good luck. I have been married 19 years and have a daughter 9 and son 5. My D is to be final in August. I feel for you. God bless.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
