I will explain one circumstance from 1 week ago. Babysitter was sick on a Friday. She asked if I could watch the boys even though I have a mountain of work to do. So....I watched the kids AND worked my but off for 10hrs at home (I work from home). Afterwards I knew the boys were bored solid of me so I took them to the park so we could unwind. I then delivered them to her place. I got my butt ripped! For not giving them a bath and feeding them.
She then said "this is exactly why we are not together". WTF?? I told her I would never be a model father. I had deadlines and was beyond frustrated but I knew she needed to work to and she has new bills now. I don;t know.
Regarding "taking a wife". I have explained to the therapist and EW that I would like to be married for life to "someone" and grow and learn together. When I said that, I only meant that if the divorce IS final, I am very likely to find someone else and move on and I have read that if things work a little "to well" between Xs, it can be an issue.
On a side note that maybe was not clear, I refer to her as my W and a divorce, BUT we were never married! Remember we engaged but she took the ring off without saying anything.
I think what started some of it is our visit to a place to FINALLY get married. It is a super neat place that we both love BUT we never even discussed how we want the wedding to be. I had something in my mind, her idea was totally different. Instead of talking about it, she got bent, stopped talking, and things went down hill.
We are both very organic people, love trees, green, etc. BUT, I like to go a little overboard and she likes simple.
So. I mentioned above that she lives right down the street. She saw my new puppy of a few weeks outside and had to stop and see the puppy. I am not sure if I am reading more into that or not but... I just find stuff like this confusing right now. Just not sure how I am to respond or interact.
You need to read the DR or DB book asap. Forget about the others for now and stick to one plan of action. The more you read, the more your head is going to start to spin.
How old are your kids?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Kids are 3 and 11. We got a rocky start because the first child was purely not planned and had to scramble. I moved her in with me after knowing her a short time.
When you say "head spin", what do you mean? I already have 2 books that came recommended but everyone is telling me to read more books. I barely have time to pee these days. Not saying I won't do it but I am trying to learn if there is any hope here or if I need to step back and forget it.
I mean that every book/website has their own method of dealing with this situation. Since you're on the DB site right now, it would be to your best interest to read DB and create a plan using that course of action. You have to be consistent in your actions and show your W some stability.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
