Wife moved out to be with her Tour Guide Lover

[Oxford1]

So I am new to this site, but I thought that I would fill everyone in on a situation that sounds like a movie on Lifetime or Hallmark Channel!
My wife the love of my life the center of my universe has left me. She has decided that she is in Love with a man that she claims is deeper than me emotionally and understand her better than anyone has. She claims that she always thought she was in Love with Me but did not know what true love was until she met this guy....she actually told this to our 15 year old son! Now our story, we met I was 18 going on 19 and she was 20.5. We worked at a day camp together and it was love at first site. I even transferred to the college that she wa attending. We were engaged and married by the time we were 24/25 years old, we had one son 21 years ago, and the other almost 16 years ago. We earn a nice living are comfortable but in some debt. College, house , trying to give wifey everything she ever wanted (now she says it was me trying to control her). She ran away on February's 12, so yes the first Valentines day in 34 years without her and then her birthday was March 6 th and she was in an other country with her lover celebrating her birthday, away from her two sons and extended family. I will get into the long story which I am sure you will all find very entertaining and unbelievable during my next post. I just am emotionally unable to write anymore right now......

[Cadet]

Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power

[2ndTimeHurt]

Hey Oxford.

Looking forward to your next post. Moderation takes a bit of time but I'm sure you'll find it's worth it. Lots of helpful people here.

Hang in there man. It's a bumpy road for sure.

[Upwards]

Hi Oxford, welcome to DB! Sorry your going through such a tough time, I'm sure you'll get lots of useful advice and fantastic support from everyone here.

[labug]

Hey Oxford, it does sound like a Lifetime movie. Sorry.

Copy Cadet's post and read it every morning.

Nothing you can do is going to change your W's mind right now. We don't know how her new "love" feels about things and she may not either, this may be his M.O.

Detach, check out the livestrong page on emotional detachment. Let her live out her fantasy for now. The less you interact with her, the better.

Are you a controller? Many of us here are.

[Roberta]

It is good that you have found this site. There are many caring members who will give you excellent advice and support. I know you are emotionally exhausted and confused, but please, take a minute to call and discuss our coaching services. Divorce Busting Coaches specialize in saving marriages and keeping families together. They can help you figure out the best course of action. Please call 303-444-7004

[MrBond]

Sorry that you find yourself on here. You won't find a better group of individuals to help you try to get your M back on track. Just have faith and patience.

"She has decided that she is in Love with a man that she claims is deeper than me emotionally and understand her better than anyone has."

Is she right? Since you've been M'd for so long, it's pretty easy to "forget" dating your spouse or seeing her as a passionate woman. Did you let that fall off?

"trying to give wifey everything she ever wanted (now she says it was me trying to control her)."

That's a bit of an over-generalization. What type of things did you get her that you say she wanted?

[Oxford1]

Hey Oxford, it does sound like a Lifetime movie. Sorry.

Copy Cadet's post and read it every morning.

Nothing you can do is going to change your W's mind right now. We don't know how her new "love" feels about things and she may not either, this may be his M.O.

Detach, check out the livestrong page on emotional detachment. Let her live out her fantasy for now. The less you interact with her, the better.
H
Are you a controller? Many of us here are.

n YES SO IS SHE

[Oxford1]

Hi Roberta we have spoke.
I have spoke with Chuck 2x

[Oxford1]

Sorry that you find yourself on here. You won't find a better group of individuals to help you try to get your M back on track. Just have faith and patience.

"She has decided that she is in Love with a man that she claims is deeper than me emotionally and understand her better than anyone has."

Is she right? Since you've been M'd for so long, it's pretty easy to "forget" dating your spouse or seeing her as a passionate woman. Did you let that fall off? Not really. He just got into the entire Israel and Jewish culture etc. Her IC said she is seduced by need. She claims he was not happy in his marriage and she was confused over hers.

"trying to give wifey everything she ever wanted (now she says it was me trying to control her)."
Custom built Victorian home.
Nice cars , vacation, home Gym etc..
That's a bit of an over-generalization. What type of things did you get her that you say she wanted?

wanted to bail on all this about five years ago. She told me if I sold it changed it etc, she was leaving!