I'm still over in Newcomers but am in the process of getting D, so I guess will eventually move on over here. In the meantime, I was hoping for a bit of wisdom from those who have been there/done that already.
When you got D, did you keep your M name or revert to maiden?
I can't decide what to do. The main reason to keep it would be my kids, of course. Do I want to have a different last name than they do?
My H's father has been M three times and all the Ws took/kept his name, so there are already 4 Mrs. XXXXs out there - the thought of joining the ranks of women left by a XXXX and staying Mrs. XXXX makes me kind of nauseated.
On the other hand, everyone I have met within the last 11 years knows me by my married name.
Did you keep your M name? How did you decide?
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Great advice, Gabby. It didn't even occur to me to do that - I felt like I had to decide like, right now. I think I will ask for it in the D like you suggested. Thank you!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Hope all is well with you. I'll head up and read in a few. I hope you forgive me for being less than attentive lately - I'm still playing personal whack-a-mole here, and there are lots of emotions swirling around to boot. I'm trying to get centered again myself.
I don't think the courts allow you to put something in to revisit later. I was told that it was a "now for free/later for fee" thing.
I kept my married name - only for the kids, particularly D17. I figured it would be easier to navigate Medicaid and guardianship issues by having the same last name as her. Otherwise, I'd have changed my name back to my maiden name. Funny enough, I had a difficult time changing TO my married name when I got married. My dad and XH weighed in heavily, and I thought that my stance was out of fear and stubbornness, so I change it. I'm kind of used to my married name. It's unique enough, you know? Besides, now that I own the business I came up through the ranks, people would be confused. LOL.
Good luck!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I have used my maiden and married name pretty much since I got married. I tried it a couple of ways and even switched it a few times with social security before I settled on this. People make the assumption that I dropped my married name, I did not. I keep the connection with my kids and there aren't any other Mrs my last name since I did my name the way I did.
You will figure out what works for you. I think if kids are involved it is nice to keep that extra connection but again see what feels right for you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I think I will ask for it in the D like you suggested. Thank you!