Reaching out for support and advice 4

[3boymom]

Blues - I am so impressed by you!! This is a really crappy sitch. But you are right...you have to let your H figure this out on his own. He is an adult and he got himself into this situation. He clearly knows how babies are made since he has done it before.

I am so glad to hear that you have been taking some time to take care of yourself and are finding comfort with your friends and family. I will pray that your H gets his act together and steps up for everyone involved.

[juliegayle]

Blues- ditto everything above. You have been so strong through this. Keep taking care of you and the kids.

Do your kids know about this?

[Wonka]

Blues,

WAS Men don't think with their heads...well...only that other one.

I remember reading a fantastic quote years ago here in DB from a LBS wife who said to her H:

Well, it is obvious that your d!ck didn't JUST accidentally fall inside her!

I busted my gut from laughing so hard at that gem!

[cczamo]

Blues,I've just recently started reading your posts. I really feel for you and will keep you in my prayers.

[bluesgal]

Thanks all for your thoughts, comments, and prayers. I saw my lawyer today and filed for legal separation. In our state, it's a first come, first served state for child support. So, this is what I needed to do in order to protect my kids financial future. H was very shocked that I did this. I think he was trying to call my bluff. Call away. I am now going dark and leaving him to his own thoughts.

I am sorry that I have not been following/commenting on so many fellow DB friends threads lately. I have been so overwhelmed with all the changes in my life. I hope to take a little more time to myself and let things settle down.

[bluesgal]

Lots of ups and downs from H. Verbal commitment: "I'm trying", but no true emotional intimacy.

We went camping together over the holiday weekend. He was present physically. He likes to do the thing where he talks about our future. We should do this or buy that or fix this. But no emotional connection. None. He continues to run from his problems. I will continue to seek legal separation. Once we go to court in June, I will separate all of our finances and assets with his ok. I need to protect my kids and myself.

He is not well. I want someone healthy. Someone who values me. Ugh. This is hard, but I'm getting more independent.

[labug]

That's a strong and courageous thing to do. You're facing very difficult circumstances.

Keep your head up. You'll get through this. You won't be unchanged but you will get through it.

[owl777]

There's a lot of unhealthy people out there and those DBing need to try not to join that club. So, keep the process going. Don't be fooled with the future talk. Believe nothing he says and only half of what you see. Sorry, but many of us are in the same boat, but refuse to sink.

[Georgiabelle]

BG,

I just wanted to check in and hope you are hanging in there. I think you made the right move. Sending you positive vibes:-)