I agree KML. I was really critical in my personal stuff and I even thought that I wouldn't date myself because of being so critical. LOL!
I agree...coffee date and whatever you do, do not tell them where you live. Meet them at a coffee house or somewhere else. Don't share too much of your personal life w/them. Just as you are using a fake name, age, etc., some of them are doing that too. There are some really nice ones out there and I did meet up with 2 that were very nice...but our work schedules clashed quite a bit...but we do stay in touch as friends, nothing more.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Is Smokey a deep processor or does he do thinks spontaneously?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Magic: Smokey hates therapy, therapists, thinking deeply, pushing through uncomfortable feelings and feeling uncomfortable period.
So guys, I have a dating kinda question. I'm learning here and I never dated in high school/college, except two very short relationships before I married.
Ok, so...
I had a really nice time with the Forester last night. And, he seemed to have a really nice time too. So, I haven't heard anything from him. I guess I thought I would hear, "Hey, I had a nice time. That was fun..." yadda, yadda...
This is what he did the last date too. We have, what I think is this great time, and then he never "follows up" after. Like when I made him dinner that first time. He never followed up and, then, I got antsy and contacted him.
So, I haven't contacted him. I'm just wanting to use this as a chance to sort out how you handle this stuff. Is this normal? Or is it rude? I kinda think, especially after the dinner, it's kinda rude. Seems like a friend would at least send a text and say, "Thanks for the fun."
Am I wrong?
But, I haven't texted or anything.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I just don't know what normal is. I can't believe, now, that I never did this before. I guess I feel like I'm in high school again. I've watched D19 do this. She is great at all this stuff. I have a new respect for what goes into dating.
I probably shoulda seriously dated more than one guy before I got married!!
Why do you think you scare men?
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
"Normal" can range from: - a nice text or call the morning after ("I had a great time last night") from a guy who is really into you (or TOO into you)
- to a guy who waits the statutory 3 days (so as not to appear overly eager)
- to the Love Avoidant guy who got his fill and won't think to call you again for 3 weeks - and when he does, it's always a last-minute deal (Love Avoidants do not plan ahead. One Love Avoidant friend of mine explained it like this: if he made a date on Monday for Friday night, he felt all week like he had a dentist appointment looming! So he would wait until Thursday night or even Friday to ask a girl out for Friday night, so as not to feel obligated.)
What I will say is this - this is a guy that you ALREADY KNOW is not any kind of long-term prospect because of his age and his desire to have kids. And if you are eagerly awaiting a follow-up call from him and having to restrain yourself from texting him - you should not date him. You're gonna have expectations he can't meet and you're gonna get hurt.
I'm trying to look at this as a learning experience. I want to learn how to date, how to sift through qualities in other people to find a person who really fits for me. I feel like I'm 15 years old again and have no clue how to do all of this.
Somehow, I got this idea, a belief really about myself, that I would never be able to attract and keep a really quality man. I need to work through that. I want to push myself through that belief and see that you can actually have fun with someone and not be there EVERYTHING.
I, actually, think the forester is perfect to practice on simply because he doesn't want any commitment.
I also think it's interesting, that once again, I picked someone who has a history of substance abuse. What is it that I need to work on here?
I didn't realize there is a statutory three days.
I feel good. I didn't realize there were so many men out there!! And, a lot of them are really nice guys.
See, I had this very narrow view of relationships, in part thanks to my mother, all very Cinderella and fantasy and full of fairy godmothers and your one true love and soulmates. And, when I fall for someone, I seem to go to that place again. I, very well, may get hurt with the forester, but I'm cool with it because I need to grow up from this fantasy of men being Prince Charming.
And, how come, I find the guys how have problems with alcohol and other drugs and I see them as Prince Charming?
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
