Another Day in DB Land

[Mic]

Mostly journaling and a few questions.
I took my coach's advice yesterday and texted my husband a thank you for allowing me to have our farm for 7 years and being able to help with all the animals and children I have helped with. I had told him that morning that I had found homes for a few of the animals. I'm sure he was surprised that I thanked him instead of crying or getting angry. Our farm has been a huge jealous factor in our relationship from him. A few hours later he texted me and said "thanks for the thanks - it was unnecessary but truly appreciated." I ended the text by saying well back to work off to register for a glass blowing class.

Today when I came in this morning for switch over things were a bit out of control. I think he's finding that it's harder than he thought to have to take care of 3 children. Then had heart failure today when the school called and said is your oldest not in school day. "Yes!" her dad dropped off. Luckily she was just late and they did not have a record. Talk about your heart stopping. Turns out my H did not realize what time school started. Really??? I have to say I was not so calm after that conversation with him. Though he did take all of the blame. I told him it will be even harder next year for him since two will be in school.
Then later he decides to email me some recipes regarding a conversation we had over a week ago I had forgotten about. I didn't email him back all day. I didn't have time. Tonight he calls and leaves a message to talk to the kids and confirm he got his email. I guess he wants to be friends again now.
Nicely he is allowing me to have the kids on his time overnight for them to go to a special event at our church. I truly do appreciate that.
I guess one of the hardest things I can't get over if even though today is being nice - I don't know if I will ever be able to erase the words "I've never loved you. I don't love you now" out of my head. Can someone ever get over that. Is that something many WAS say? Not that I think any of what happened today is an indication of him regretting his decision.
Our first court appointment is next week so we will see how that goes.. Ugh.
Thanks for advice and listening.