It has been a difficult two weeks for me. Valentine day was extremely difficult for me because w spent that special day with OM. I couldn't sleep but think about our 9yrs together. Wife still living in a fantasy land. She spend more time with OM than ever. Still insist on wanting a divorce. I'm currently consulting with my lawyer regarding my daughter and my assets. I'm also working on me and planning to take more fun trips with my daughter. I honestly don't know where to go from here but to pray to God for guidance. I'm hoping for the best but everything looks bad right now. To be honest, I'm starting to lose hope.
Love ya man. You need rest. It will help thinking and decisions to deal with the business side of this and work with your lawyer efficiently. It sounds harsh, but it will help to detach. Your daughter needs you and you will always have her. Get the legalities tidied up neatly and peacefully. You will be able to afford the time and money for the trips the smoother this part goes, without compromising your rights of course.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Thanks man. I'm not giving up but loosing up gradually. Very difficult for me to deal with the affair. Knowing my wife is F another man multiple times a week is hard to swallow. Three month and affair still continue with OM.
I know pal. I have been there. It hurts like hell. To your W she wants divorce and does not see it as affair any longer...as misguided as that is. Get business going and it helps take focus off her and easier to detach. If you don't, it will cost more, time money and stress you you and your D. You are allowed to be free too, not just her. Don't let her selfishness hold you hostage. You need to protect yourself financially, as I have learned now that selfishness has no boundaries for the WAS and will will spread out beyond the A and she will want more. Cake eaters are sick.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I feel for you Lost! I am in a similar spot with W still having an affair, claiming she thinks she loves him. Don't think about what they are doing!!! I know that is easier said than done. But it does you no good. I struggle with this myself, and it makes me sick when I do think of it. But when you feel that thought coming on, do something else. Get up, go do something else. Come here and vent, post. Anything! Do something that you like. For me that has been big and small things. Sometimes as little as grabbing some food I love. Get a massage! Something to spoil yourself. You deserve it right now. I know it helps a little for me. I was nickel and diming everything I did for awhile in preparation for what I feared would come tomorrow. But, today has come, and nothing has changed. This is the hardest thing I have been through, so why shouldn't we treat ourselves. Cut ourselves some slack! Dot be reckless, but think of something that brings you happiness. You deserve it! Stay strong! You can make it through this! No matter what the outcome.
Me:36 Her:35 together 11yrs M 7 1/2yrs lived together 10yrs 2dogs 2cats Mortgage on a house
bomb dropped 01/12/14 Separate bedrooms/W stays here some nights I want to stay married
I'm honestly tired of her crap. She's rude and selfish. OM is her new man now. You're absolutely right D2ndday. She no longer call it affair. No shame either. At first that's all I get from her all day, that's s not the case now. She claimed OM and moving forward with him. She already told all her family she's not interested in the marriage any more.
It has been a difficult two weeks for me. Valentine day was extremely difficult for me because w spent that special day with OM.
It'll get better. I used to get depressed thinking about W flitting about with OM on holidays too, now my focus is on my life, not what W is doing or who she's doing it with. You'll get there too, just be patient with yourself, it takes a while.
Quote:
I honestly don't know where to go from here but to pray to God for guidance. I'm hoping for the best but everything looks bad right now. To be honest, I'm starting to lose hope.
Your sitch just started in December, right? So you're not even 3 months in. This early you really don't know where things are going. Like we always say, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Take a deep breath and settle in for the long haul. When you say you're losing hope, that tells me you're focusing too much on your M. When you are fully embracing GAL your marital problems become something going on in the background. I'm not saying you never think about it, but you won't focus on how good or bad it is, you'll just live your life and let that shake out how it will. The first 3 to 6 months was the most difficult part for me, after that I began to care less and less about where it was going and became more interested in where I was going. You need patience not just for your W, but for you too.
Since you mentioned God, one thing I learned from my experience is despite an INSANE amount of my praying to the contrary, God is NOT willing to operate on my timeline. I just kept praying for him to bring W back to me ASAP. Sometimes dozens of times a day. All those prayers went unanswered. Some people might go through that and decide there is no God. But I stepped back and said "what is God trying to tell me?" IE, he knows what I want, and he's not giving it to me, why is that? I think it was because he wanted me to find myself, to make more of myself, to quit coasting through life and start LIVING it. Take chances, the risks are greater but so are the rewards. So that's what I do now, and I am enjoying life more than I have in many years (since well before BD). Maybe God will yet bring us back together, but at this point I've accepted that if that ever happens it will be years from now and well after D. My point is adjust your praying, I mean do pray for your W and your M, but also pray that he shows you the path he wants you on. It may not be the path you want to be on.
I appreciate the advice man. I feel you pain man. I honestly don't know why you give so much and most female nowadays still step out and hurt the supposed to be most important person in there lives. So you guys still live together? How's that going for you? I know that must be very difficult.
