I was here about 10 years ago, my husband came home, things were better for awhile, but stopped working on myself and here I am again.
I'm almost 44, H almost 50 married almost 18 years. 2 girls together 15, 12 and I have an 18 you son from prior relationship.
Without making this post too long, we have had several issues throughout our marriage, probably more bad than good but mostly we just existed together. For the past 6 years he has been working overseas, he was just home for 2 weeks and told me he was going to file for divorce. Said he's not in love with me anymore, and he has stopped caring about making this marriage work. I have suggested many times that we go to counseling, he thinks its a waste of $$ because we know what our problems are but neither one of us is willing to change.
I know things that I have to do for me but am really lonely and lost right now. I'm mad at myself for the way we left things when I dropped him at the airport. I accused him of having met someone else a few days before and let it get to me therefore he left pissed off at me, he told me I need to accept that the marriage is over. If I would have let it go, we would have said goodbye on a positive note.
I want a chance to save my marriage but am afraid he really is done for good.
Now I am worried that he has met someone else. It is kind of eating me up. And though I know that is a symptom, not the problem, I do feel that will make this journey way more difficult.
I know this goes against DB but I did send him an email today. It wasn't needy or pleading, but I did tell him that I did not want a divorce but I understand why he does. Also told him that I would like to leave the lines of communication open and that I would like to know that he is safe (he is a contractor in Afghanistan) and what is going on with his recent health issues.
I am so lost, I know I should be GAL but find myself literally walking in circles in my house.
He hasn't even responded to his daughters, so not like him. I know I shouldn't read into it but it is always tough on all of us when he leaves, they just have no idea that he wants a divorce.
I do think he may have met someone else, symptom of our problems not cause, I know I have to start DBing but am wondering how much tougher it is if he has. I feel like if he has someone he can connect with emotionally that will pull him farther from me.
I would like to add this moderation is difficult, wasn't like this before....
Feeling like curling up in a ball and staying in bed until this is over. I know that's not realistic. Kids have no idea, but if I can't pull it together soon my older ones may start to figure out something is wrong.
I have a number for a counselor, going to call and get an appt. Also found an attorney, just want to see what my rights are.
On another note, have not heard from H, have no idea if he even made it to his destination. I'm not surprised I haven't heard from her but concerned he hasn't replied to either of our daughters texts since Sat. That is not like him.
Struggling J
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
He told his sister, that makes it more real. I was trying to get out of the house stopped in by her and her husband's shop. Did not say anything about it but had to leave because I started crying. She texted me that he knew what was going on and that she wasn't sure she was the right person to talk to but she was here if I needed her.
J
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
lost18, I have been there walking circles in the house. Things will get better. Definitely follow Cadet's advice and get out and GAL, it helped me move through the initial grief and emotions.
Keep you chin up.
M:34 XW:34 Together: 10y Living: 9y Married: 7y Son:6 Son:4 Separated: 12/28/13 Piecing: 5/2/14 Separated 2nd: 10/16/14 W filed, but pulled it: 11/5/14 papers served: 1/27/15 D final: 3/6/15
I have been "single" for so long I don't do much. I play softball, my youngest is active in sports that's about my extent of getting out. I have a lot of friends but we all lead our own lives...I really don't have anybody here to get out and do things with because they all work during the day and I don't.
I use to do a lot of running and races but this past year have stopped that as well. Just haven't been really motivated, this is not helping.
It is so quiet in my house right now it is killing me...I just wish I could sleep.....
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
