Hello all! This is my first time posting here, but I've been lurking for a few weeks. My husband is 29 and I am 26. We married in 2010 and have two small children together D3/S2months, he has a D8 from previous relationship. The BD 1/9/14 and H moved out the same day after months of tension between us. From the beginning of our marriage I have felt that my husband considered our marriage as a temporary thing, he was constantly leaving the house and sometimes wouldn't return for days. Everytime he returned, I took him back with open arms. I think that was my biggest mistake:( We have gone through quiet of bit of stress in our marriage. We got pregnant, married, moved into my parents house to save to buy our home, bought our home, and had another child in just under 4 years. We stopped taking care of eachother and putting the relationship first. I became a SAHM and he was always working(he's a police officer). The relationship seemed to take a turn for the worse during my second pregnancy. He became more frustrated, less considerate, and just overall treated me like I was his last priority. He adores our kids, but sometimes couldn't stand to be around me. We stopped being physical about 7 months ago, and stopped all physical touching about 4 months ago. He has never seemed to think me every important and when I began to notice him becoming friendly with a coworker on his new shift I became suspicious. She would text him about being bored at home while he was home with the kids and I. On social media she seemed very comfortable with him also. I constantly confronted him about it and he would deny it left and right, but the point wasn't really that i believe he was being physical with her...my problem was that he was being too friendly and not really respecting me as his wife. He constantly accused me of being insecure and I guess I was because my confidence in the marriage was at an all time low. Constantly Being left, receiving no affection from my husband while pregnant, no consideration, little respect...it definitely made me insecure. My husband left us when I was 4 weeks post partum, it was devastating. He completely checked out. It took him 10 days to finally come see our kids. He wants a divorce immediately and we've had our house on the market for about 2 weeks now. Things are moving so fast and I can't wrap my head around it! I am trying to give him what he wants even though it's breaking my heart. About two weeks ago I also noticed that he was texting this woman even more so than before. It may very well just be an extremely friendly flirtation, but it cuts me to the core. My husband is also constantly lying to me about things. Ive tried detaching from him as much as I can and GAL, but with two small children I am finding it extremely difficult!!! I see him a few times a week when he comes to the house to watch the kids. He has not yet filed for divorce, but we are selling our house already, we've split our savings account, he seems to want to get this process moving quickly. I'm trying not to beg or cry around him anymore, and most days I'm okay...but the panic sets in here and there and I revert back to doing what I'm not supposed to do. I want to save my marriage so badly and I don't know what I can do anymore. Yesterday(valentines day) was very confusing also. We went to file our taxes and at the end of it he had bought chocolates and teddy bears. I think it was more out of sympathy than anything else. Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated!!
OMG! Our stories are so similar. My husband is even a cop too!! We have had a huge amount of change in the past 3 years too. We moved to Australia from Ireland in 2010, (we already had our daughters), then we both got new jobs, we got engaged and married, he joined the police force, we had our son, and then bought a house a year ago. I think that was it for him, I know the mortgage has stressed him out. But he never once said 'hey, we need to talk' or 'I'm unhappy'. I thought we had a normal happy marriage, with normal marital stresses. I'm not naive, I knew it wasn't great, but I thought soon the kids will be at school, we'll save money on childcare, things will settle. I guess not.
