Just reading over the piecing tips and just wondered if anyone had some real experience on knowing whether the changes are sticking and not just falling back into when it was good in your M before? I suppose its hard when you do the same things everyday - get ready for work, kids to school, dinner, bath, bed - if the new R is really new.
We are about to have a bigger talk on the R so I'll keep you posted but losts of little personal tips would be good. like creative ways to toss things up a little - making repetition fun????
I don't want to ruin the chance and find myself in this place again.
_____________________________________________________ Me 32 H 32 D 6 S 4 S 11mth
Never allow kindness be misinterpreted for weakness. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
thanks labug I haven't got much activity anywhere I've gone to be honest. I feel like I'm a little bit of every forum and my stuff is probably not as interesting as others.
Well I suppose, we're doing the same stuff everyday those mundane tasks of kids, cleaning, work, sleep repeat. It's hard to toss things up during the week. We listen to music and dance in the kitchen - so ideas like this to throw into it. Do things differently - make cleaning fun.
I suppose I'm fighting the underlying thoughts and feelings of 'are these repetition jobs/task etc making me feel like the R has just fallen back into what it was and not a new R' I'm unsure how to monitor the longterm changes...
Figured someone in this forum would have to have something?
_____________________________________________________ Me 32 H 32 D 6 S 4 S 11mth
Never allow kindness be misinterpreted for weakness. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
I never got much action on my threads either. They didn't create buzz, so I just read a lot of others. There's lots of wisdom to be found here, sometimes you have to dig.
I've been around here for a while and it's interesting the things that go "viral." One can never predict.
I read your post to 3boyzmom and you mentioned your H had a problem with alcohol. I was surprised I had missed that but then I read (skimmed) your old posts and didn't see a mention.
What going on with that issue? Is he working on it or just not drinking?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
thanks labug I haven't got much activity anywhere I've gone to be honest. I feel like I'm a little bit of every forum and my stuff is probably not as interesting as others.
Well I suppose, we're doing the same stuff everyday those mundane tasks of kids, cleaning, work, sleep repeat. It's hard to toss things up during the week. We listen to music and dance in the kitchen - so ideas like this to throw into it. Do things differently - make cleaning fun.
I suppose I'm fighting the underlying thoughts and feelings of 'are these repetition jobs/task etc making me feel like the R has just fallen back into what it was and not a new R' I'm unsure how to monitor the longterm changes...
Figured someone in this forum would have to have something?
I'm not piecing, but I've been through MC and Retrouvaille. Do check into Retro, it is an amazing experience. It'll give you some great tools that you'll use daily to improve communication. Part of it is taking about 15 minutes a day away from the kids and just communicating with each other. It serves two purposes- it keeps channels of communication open and it gives the two of you some alone time each day. Also you have GOT to work some "married couple" time into your schedule. Dancing in the kitchen, while a great thing, is not the kind of stuff that'll keep your marriage healthy. You and your H need at least one date night a week where you focus only on each other without the distraction of kids. You say you don't have the time? MAKE the time. It is VERY important to the long-term health of your M. My D17 babysits for a young couple, they go out once a week every Wednesday without fail. They just had a baby a couple of weeks ago but went right back to their date night this week. They are SMART. I wish W and I had been as wise as they are, we might yet still be together.
