I went to court this morning, signed the final judgement and received approval by the judge. I am officially divorced.
It was just my L and I. I have not contacted my W and really don't think she cares. The whole event was very anti-climatic. I am not sure if I should even mention it to the kids.
I don't even know how I feel.
There is a definite feeling of closure. I am done wasting money on lawyers. The petty battles over property are finished. But mostly, the anxiety and indecision about the compromises I had to make to get an agreement are gone. It doesn't matter anymore, the agreement is final.
At the same time, I have this tremendous feeling of loss. I know my marriage was over long ago, but there is something tangible about hearing a judge proclaim it. The house I bought and lived in for 12 years is no longer mine. I am legally single. It is very sad.
I mentioned that my divorce was final to a couple of coworkers and they congratulated me. I guess they are right, but "congratulations" sure doesn't feel right.
I remember that day well too. It left me feeling raw.
But the best thing you can do to for yourself is to acknowledge how you feel and then kick start your new chapter with enthusiasm. You'll still have moments, but they won't be DAYS...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Underdog is right. Things get better. I also remember that day so well. I didn't have attend court. I was fishing that day with some locals. I got an email from my L on my phone telling me it was done. I said something to the guys and they also congratulated me. Actually one of them said "you lucky dog". Funny I didn't feel lucky.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I didn't have to go to court either (thank God!!) I can only imagine how depressing that would have been for me. Instead I was notified by email that the Judge had signed the decree. What was weird and did sting a little bit was that the paperwork for divorce was filed on Valentine's Day. Not mine or my ex's fault, just the poor timing of the paralegal in the lawyer's office.
BA, Mr. Wonderful filed for D on VD and it was no accident! However, it took me awhile to consider that his mom died on VD in 2004. I'm more inclined to think it was more of an "in her face" shove a year later because his mom always hated my guts. Though when he left, she jumped his sh!t about walking out, saying, "you just don't do that". The irony there is that she spent all those years telling him that he shouldn't have married me.
I went to court. I cried the whole way through it, and pretty much the rest of the day. It felt awful.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I'm so sorry Rock. I know the feeling too well. Give it some time and you will begin to write new memories, new pictures to post . It's not the end of the world. Tomorrow and for days to come you may feel raw. That's normal. But know this. You will be happy again. Come here everyday and post. It helps.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Rick - I would love to have been out fishing. Unfortunately, it is 10° and snowing. My Dad and I bought a fishing boat together a few years ago. I have not used it much. Now that I am single, I intend to get out much more. I guess there are some upsides.
For me it was in the middle of a very hot month. That day we were catching blues like crazy. To top it off one of the locals who is an awesome fisherman taught me how to cast a net that I had had for years. Catching bait with a net is very addicting. Man I'm getting the urge
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
The best walleye fishing is in April. Unfortunately, this overlaps with tax season, so my hands have always been full with kids. I really need to change that this year. Now you got me thinking about fishing.
We outfitted the boat with a GPS, computer controlled electric trolling motor last summer and I only got out in it once.
