...but it seems that the past controls so much of the present for most.I really believe that is a huge part of DB that is missed in the moment we are here....regardless of how the marriage goes, you have to learn to accept the past, learn from it, and move on. People talk about doing that, yet a lot of them still live in the past...projecting their past lives into the present, and limiting their futures.
This is probably the part that worries me most about this process. We're all here and growing, moving forward as our new, confident selves and our WAS' and other people in our lives will be mired in the past, potentially labeling us based on past failures.
Let me know where this beach is, LFW. I live several hundred miles from one so I'll be vicariously building sandcastles.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
B, Then you are worrying about something outside your realm of concern. You only control your actions and your future. The thoughts of others is beyond your control....Make yourself a better man because you want to, not for a desired change in others.
If people embrace your change and believe in you...Then they are worth keeping in your life. If they don't, well then you lovingly let them go and continue on your path. How people perceive you is their choice...Who stays in your life is your choice.