Separation, divorce, help to not lose hope/faith

[Pampkin]

I'm trying to look at the bright side of things but it is so hard when I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. You're absolutely right, though. This marriage is dead. I don't want to be in a marriage with him if he always feel tortured. We can have something new. Problem is, he's talking about dating other women so he has something to compare us to. He advised me to go out on a few dates as well. I can't even wrap my head around that and the thought of either one of us dating other people makes me want hurl. I don't know how I can handle it seeing him with someone else. I've lost us in this marriage and I am afraid to lose him to someone else.

I have taken initiative to go back to school to get a second degree. I'm meeting with a counselor at the end of the month. Since I work with him, I have not slacked off one bit. I have been giving it my all and then some. Like you said, show him that he would be a fool to leave me. Needless to say, his only two jobs at home were to make coffee and walk the dog. Everything else I did. I hope he misses that!

I have read DB but just ordered DR. Hope the book helps with my sitch.

Thank you again for all your kind words. Talking to people like you gives me comfort---something I desperately need right now.

[Pampkin]

He is unhappy. He has problems with trust issues and that trust issue will rear its ugly head once in a blue moon. We'd argue about trust from time to time but I was always able to calm him down. As for the D nine years after, I believe it's because I am upping the commitment level. I told him last year that I wanted to start a family. That would tie us for life. He's starting up a few new businesses that should take off this year. I hate to think this way, but I believe he wants this D because he doesn't want me to have access his assets should I leave him for someone else. I have never given him reason to doubt me after that, but he can't seem to forgive and let go of the past.