Perhaps there is hope.

[PERSEVERANCE]

It's been a while since I've posted.
Back from Afghanistan now nearly two years, my divorce is two years old too.
Busy taking care of my two teenage Boys, house, dog while maintaining afull-time job in investment banking and my military reserve obligations.... Hectic.
My ex wife ( we were married 17 yrs) has started to communicate with me. We are in a custody battle ( the kids live with me and want me to have full custody) - she is fighting it.
We met for coffee last night... god I still love her.
I'm willing to forgive the horrible things that were done and said. We ended up holding hands, crying and hugged.
She is coming to the house to have dinner with us.
When I mention reconciling... She said that a lot has happened and she needs to process everything.
I've been seeing a therapist , running marathons , dating a sweet, beautiful woman....keeping active and busy with my "new " life
I want my wife back though. Is it possible, or common to reconcile after a few years of harsh battling and divorce? Any advice?

[MrBond]

It is possible, but it is still up to your W to WANT to make that choice. She has to take the initiative to get things rolling rather than having you do the heavy lifting.

[PERSEVERANCE]

Thanks. Dinner with the ex in a few hours. I'll try not to be to anxious,hopeful.... or smothering.
Anyone out there reconcile AFTER their divorce?
I'd appreciate as many tips or advice possible -- especially any former WAWs
Thx everyone!
P

[MrBond]

Yes there were many. It comes down to what the WAS learned while they were gone. Many times they discovered that the grass was not greener.

[PERSEVERANCE]

We met, had dinner, and talked for another 2 hours.
She agreed to family therapy... All 4 of us together, & to have a family dinner together once a week ( all 4 of us)
No promises. She didn't agree on reconciling- she said that I should continue dating other people and that perhaps she'll be ready someday.
Seems pretty vague, but it's still progress.
I should be happy with the small victories.
What do you think-- am I too hopeful?

[PERSEVERANCE]

My big question;
I've been dating a very sweet woman, nice, honest,kind..... But not my wife.
My ex said that I should continue dating.... But also said that she fells like the "other woman" if we hug or hold hands while talking. She also said that she doesn't know if we could ever reconcile.....
Is this just another mind game or manipulation.... & do I break off from my dating?
She said that she's not seeing anyone - although I'm pretty sure she's still having a physical relationship with someone else

[MrBond]

I wouldn't end the relationship with your girlfriend. You are D'd and your XW is still wishy washy.

[Mic]

Look into rejoice ministries. I hope it works out for you. Appears as if the first step has been taken. It is good she wants to go slow. And wants to be with a family. I can guarantee as a woman even if she is not ready to get together it bothers her you are with someone else.

[Iva]

IDK I think she is really trying to see how committed YOU are to reconciling. She doesn't want to be the 'other' woman, but doesn't want to break up your current relationship if it makes you happy...and there is that nagging guilt what if W comes back and the person YOU were meant to be with is your new OW who can give you lasting happiness. And if reconciling fails with W? No one wants to go through that again.

I would keep an open mind, decide how committed YOU are to reconciling. SLOW it the direction, because time will only tell if either you have what it takes to re-commit to your marriage again.

[Loyalist]

Hi there,
I was just wondering what has happened to you and your former wife? I am divorced, since spring 2012 as well, and I would like nothing more than a reconciliation with my former husband--who has given me unbelievably mixed signals in the last year and a half...
Anyway, I'd love to hear how it worked out for you. I hope however it has, that you and your sons are happy.