Slow down, take a deep breath. You sound very needy and desperate in your other thread. That WILL get communicated to your W and it is VERY unattractive. This is a marathon, not a sprint. You have plenty of time. Use it wisely. Quit pursuing her. You haven't even read DR or DB yet and still you keep asking for "the" fix. But there isn't one. Wait until the books arrive. Read them, then read all of the responses in your other thread again, there is some excellent wisdom there and it will make more sense to you after you read the books.
DB'ing takes months or even years, not days or weeks. Settle in and be patient. Good luck!
New goings on. Affair is confirmed. EA at the moment. She is telling our friends she is not coming back here. Some pulled away from me. Others got closer. Quite a few contacted me to ask what's going on. She isn't acting anything like herself. At first it was like she was in her 20s or teens but now she is in left field. This is said by friends.
I'm not contacting her. I feel there is no choice or chance for us.
I will reread this thread and continue reading others.
DR and DB books should arrive soon and I will still read them
Every WAS is in some kind of affair, so that's really no surprise. It can be a PA, EA or even IA (imaginary affair with the perfect make-believe OP that is just out there waiting to be found).
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She is telling our friends she is not coming back here.
WAS's always speak in absolutes. "I'll never go back." "There's no hope for us." "It's definitely over." Many M's have reconciled even after these words (and worse) were spoken.
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Some pulled away from me. Others got closer. Quite a few contacted me to ask what's going on.
DO NOT get friends (or relatives) involved. I can't stress this enough. Friends meddle, and the WAS will ALWAYS perceive it as the LBS "rallying the troops" against them. Just tell your friends the two of you are having some difficulties and that you both need time and space to think about things, and ask them not to intervene.
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She isn't acting anything like herself.
That's a standard requirement for membership in the WAS club.
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I feel there is no choice or chance for us.
Oh yes, there's absolutely a chance. Read DR ASAP.
I'm reading DR , I may be in and out if sleep, fever, and flu but I'm not seeing how it will save the M when she isn't willing to work on it, talk, and only wants to avoid everything to do with me. It will help me and I believe it already has.
