I didn't want to sign but I think I will. I wanted to save my marriage but he is now living with her. She is attending thanksgiving with his family. He ignores me mostly. The other day I told him I hoped his Football team won, they did, he also told me he appreciated it and to stay warm. The next day I thanked him and he told me when the next game was then to have a happy thanksgiving. Last night I texted to ask him if he was sure without a doubt he wanted this divorce. He ignored me. This morning I said ok, I don't know why it's so hard for you to say yes but I will make the appt to sign the papers. Then I reminded him he wanted this not me (he tells people I want this and he did it for me). Again.. . no response. He will not discuss this. He calls and leaves monotone messages about how he doesn't love me like a wife but will always have some feelings just not love. So why can't he reply that he is totally sure beyond a doubt we have to get divorced? He lives with her. He is planning a life with her. He filed for divorce. Why can't he answer that question but can answer about football games?
WS moves out 9/11 OWH DD#1 12/11 FR#1 1/12 DD#2 2/12 WS leaves 4/12 WS tries FR#2 6/12 WS/OW move in 7/12 WS leaves OW 9/12 WS back with other OW 12/12 Said OW demanding we D 5/14/13 WS files divorce 8/28/13
I do have plans. I am spending it with family. I think what bothers me most is how no one else is taking this seriously. They all think he's a jerk and will wake up when it's too late to do anything about it. He said people said we can't reunite because he did this and he doesn't care what I say about it. He said I will make him miserable about it. That he just feels its best to move on. But then there were times he said he wanted to come back. His mother told me the OW told him he had to do this because she was divorced. He told me we can remarry when they break up. Do you see why this concerns me?
WS moves out 9/11 OWH DD#1 12/11 FR#1 1/12 DD#2 2/12 WS leaves 4/12 WS tries FR#2 6/12 WS/OW move in 7/12 WS leaves OW 9/12 WS back with other OW 12/12 Said OW demanding we D 5/14/13 WS files divorce 8/28/13
He hasn't even felt as if he has lost you because you keep letting him back in! I know he throws you crumbs and right now you will take anything. Value yourself more and don't accept crumbs.
Sorry that you find yourself here.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
In the beginning I had no support. I didn't find these sites until I was well into this situation... and when I did implement them he did drop her - but didn't go NC. And now this is how not going NC ends up. She would lie about me. She convinced him we weren't meant to be. In Jan I said enough. He took me at my word and cut me off. Saying I am the one who wanted this. I did say she can have him I am done dealing with this. So we are here now. I don't want it, I haven't signed but I told him I will. I am probably not. It will still go through without my signature. However when I check the index number nothing has happened since I got my papers. I also know I accepted crumbs. At first he was all we can do this then he pushed it and pushed like to see how far he could go. But I do think he seriously is just done. I think I allowed their relationship to grow while he crumb tossed my way and then filed. Once he filed he called me on bday even, I said why keep trying to get points with me if a divorce is what you want. So he now contacts me not at all. And POSOW is attending thanksgiving and they live together. She cheats and just earlier this week was "visiting friends" an hour or so away for a few days. I am like hmmm. I am sure he trusts her. LMAO.. trusts her... she lied to be with you. And I also found out she got her first husband this way. She stole him from his first wife. She doesn't work and latches on to men with money. Since her teen years she has told people she will not live poorly since she grew up that way. I am livid. I keep thinking where is the Karma bus.. where is the right and wrong committee lol.. why doesn't someone stop this? But then I realize he won't believe it anyway. I am the bad guy.
WS moves out 9/11 OWH DD#1 12/11 FR#1 1/12 DD#2 2/12 WS leaves 4/12 WS tries FR#2 6/12 WS/OW move in 7/12 WS leaves OW 9/12 WS back with other OW 12/12 Said OW demanding we D 5/14/13 WS files divorce 8/28/13
I really just wanted to save my marriage and anytime I got a positive response I kept doing what seemed to work. All I did was make them cozier and me unhappier. Plan A really should be discontinued after 2 weeks. Hope a newbie who thinks like I did reads this.
When I would do things like back off, he would use it as further proof I did not want him. It never occurred to him I wanted HIM not him AND her and her kids etc while he lived with her and I was his "friend" he spoke to.
I can't wait til I have a new number. I still sometimes think I will hear from him. With a new number, THAT will stop too and I will finally have peace.
WS moves out 9/11 OWH DD#1 12/11 FR#1 1/12 DD#2 2/12 WS leaves 4/12 WS tries FR#2 6/12 WS/OW move in 7/12 WS leaves OW 9/12 WS back with other OW 12/12 Said OW demanding we D 5/14/13 WS files divorce 8/28/13
Sorry you are going through this. My best theory as to why they string us along is because they are afraid, and always want a backup plan. Do what is best for you.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
