The Road Not Taken

[JFun51]

The Road Not Taken-Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Always been one of my favorite poems. For all of us Standers, it makes a lot of sense. We have all chosen to travel a very difficult road that most would never even consider. The last line really speaks to me now. Our journey will make all the difference in our lives.

[uRworthy]

One of my favorites, too, J.

Yep, this road is the tougher one in a lot of ways. But, oh, the rewards if you choose to take it.

You are doing great.

[JFun51]

My previous threads:

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[url=http://http://www.divo...903&page=1]

[JFun51]

Well, posting those links screwed up. Oh well, they are all there.

[JFun51]

Update:

Football and supper went well as a family today. I did watch my 2 boys fight for W's attention throughout the day. Both touching her, hugging her, acting out, being silly, etc. as I've spent more and more time with them I can see these changes in their behaviors. They are even keel around me. They don't fight with each other with me.

W and I watched a movie together after we got home. Went OK. Said she was going upstairs to change clothes and we could watch another. No surprise that she came back down 2 hours later with an excuse and an apology. At least she understood I enjoyed spending time with her and wanted more.

[JFun51]

Incredible message at church today. Sunday school lesson was about loving others with all their faults. Christians are too quick to judge individuals sins and not recognize their own. We should be loving and show God's grace. Sermon was about being positive and thankful. Preacher said that it takes effort to be thankful. Complaining is a sign of laziness. Gifs gift to us all is his grace and we all have the ability to find love and understanding.

Every Sunday I learn more and more about my struggle and my own life. I love my family!

[tigerlily78]

Love that poem too.

Glad to hear your sitch seems to be going well for the moment.

I liked the church message too, so appropriate.

[Pudmuddle]

Nice poem, JF. And I also love the church message. I don't go to church but it is amazing to me how people post the timeliness of the church messages to what is going on in their lives. Seems like church would be good therapy!

It seems like your sitch is just going along. At least your W isn't spewing any venom, that is good. Just let her do her own thing and she will awake like Sleeping Beauty, someday.

I think you are doing an outstanding job with your boys. You are a tremendous example to them, keep it up.

[AJM]

J, one of the hallmarks of this type of journey is depression. I would hazard a guess that your W is showing some signs of depression. "Always" "Forever" statements, possibly sleeping at odd times (gone for two hours; it's possible that's what she did), the erratic behaviors, etc. I'm not trying to take the focus off of you, but I am pointing out that her road is not an easy one either. Through your changes, you have changed the dynamic (for the better I believe.) She has to adjust as well.

You can't help her with her choices - you can only make yours. And you are and seem to be doing well with them. You are making changes for you and those will stick. She has to make her own.

Be there for the kids. You can tell they need you now more than ever. They are very good at intuiting what's going on and at working on ways to get their needs met in their way. They need their dad to show them how to deal with what comes their way. How to grow. How to be a family.

Keep up the good work on YOU and it'll fall all fall into place as it needs to.

Peace,

AJ

[JFun51]

AJ,

W has been showing signs of major clinical depression for 8-10 months. Lighter signs if depression for a couple of years prior to that. Complete shutdown occurred in June. I know timelines do not serve us well, but this has been a long time coming.

Little conflict today about finances, but very light and we sat next to each other at S10's basketball game tonight. She has been working hard today on getting Christmas decorations out (very normal as she loves the holidays). She then took that energy to going through her clothes and putting away a mountain of clothes that has been piling up for weeks. Nice to see her doing stuff. She is very sexy when she's working in tight jeans. Can't help but think good thoughts when she acts so normal.