Look what the cat dragged in! (TL)

[tigerlily78]

My Original Thread

My first thread reached 100, time for a new one. Hopefully this one will have a little more conversation and a little less of my own soliloquies! lol.

Since I had that crazy kitten dream this seemed like a good title. Also, H's beard situation is looking totally "Shaggy" from Scooby Doo and it is making his face break out like crazy. I wonder how long he is really going to put up with OW determining his facial hair destiny.

Tigerlily's First Thread

[Pudmuddle]

Tiger, you are one funny lady. You're posts always make me bust out laughing. I love your soliloquies!

I said he must be extra aware of all my bad smells now after living in a world full of cologne and perfume and axe body spray and febreeze

That dream was crazy and must be how you feel about all of this, wrangling cats. The beard thing, I have seen mlc'ers do that on here before, start growing a beard. Like what, will it make them more virile? And I don't get the whole skating thing with your H...really, a 37 yr old man. It just seems odd to me, but what do I know about skating world.

I finally had to tell my H that tribal tattoos (even fake ones) are seriously outdated. I just had to...

I agree with kml, throw some sexy undies around the house. OR better yet make him a peanut butter sandwich for dinner next time!!

[tigerlily78]

I am glad someone appreciates my humor.

I wish I had more opportunities for H to remember I have a good sense of humor. It is hard to STFU and be funny at the same time.

I think the beard thing is all about OW having major Daddy Issues. She WANTS him to look older. She also had convinced him not to wear his hat skating (his hair is thinning on the sides in the front)... I almost thought from the beginning that she KNEW he was MLC and was working to play up those anxieties.

My H has always loved skating... he is an aggressive rollerblader, not roller skater. AND when he was a teen there were many years he didn't get to skate or play soccer and other activities that he would have liked to have done because his mom was a total nutcase and his stepdad was abroad in the Air Force. So I can see how skating taking a big role in his MLC makes sense, he is trying to get back that lost time doing something that could have changed his life and level of happiness back then.

He has gone through a few periods since we've been together where he didn't skate for a couple years at a time, but it is something he always gravitates back to. I think it is one of the area in his life where he feels really good about himself and in control. He gets a high from the exercise, it makes him feel strong, and strangers give him admiration because he is really good at it. He is otherwise a pretty introverted and shy and self conscious person most of the time. But when he skates you can see a certain kind of self assurance and confidence.

When he was 32(!) he was still skating at a skate park a few towns over, doing grinds on rails and ledges and stuff. He had 16 year old kids looking up to him as a mentor there and I know he really enjoyed it. BUT, he ended up falling out of going to the skatepark (this was also partly my fault but for a really stupid reason) and then the skate park closed down a couple years later.

About a year ago or so, while driving him to work I pointed out a building for lease not far from the mall here. I told him that would make a great location for a new indoor skate park, the building had high enough ceilings for a half pipe and stuff. I said I know he is very good at his job, but I wondered if he wouldn't be happier if we owned a skate park. He agreed, that he has always wondered if he wouldn't be happier doing something else. After that discussion he even looked into how much it would cost to buy the old closed down skate park farther from our house, but it was WAY more money than either of us realized (like over a Million Dollars). So I guess that pretty much put a damper on that pipe dream.

Sometimes I still feel myself wondering if this whole situation could have been avoided if I had just not slipped on those stupid Skittles and stopped going skating. I guess I have to allow myself to accept that the MLC was probably going to happen one way or another eventually, the circumstances in my case just seem extra stupid. :P

[tigerlily78]

And when I say my H looks like Shaggy, I am not even kidding. He is a red head. When he first started growing the beard I DID think it was sexy... just enough stubble to have the "scruffy middle aged dad" look. And I loved how it felt when he rubbed it against my back or the inside of my leg... rowr.

Now it's like an inch long just on his chin and curly and red, and his beard is still pretty sparse along the sides of his jaw. I think the inconsistency looks funny, but oh well.

Anyone want to take bets on when he shaves it off completely? lol.

[tigerlily78]

Also, my H actually looks pretty young for his age otherwise, so maybe OW didn't want people to confuse her for his sister or his mom. :P

[kml]

When he was 32(!) he was still skating at a skate park a few towns over, doing grinds on rails and ledges and stuff. He had 16 year old kids looking up to him as a mentor there and I know he really enjoyed it. BUT, he ended up falling out of going to the skatepark (this was also partly my fault but for a really stupid reason) and then the skate park closed down a couple years later.

Just something to put into your equation - that kind of sport usually involves a risk of concussions - and we're all learning more about how repeated concussion can cause depression and brain changes. (My ex had 6 concussion in 8 years prior to our divorce, a fact that I am sure contributed to the demise of my marriage).

[tigerlily78]

Wow, KML you are sharp! My H did have a concussion a few years ago from skating at the park even though he was wearing a helmet.

The worst part was that the reason he bailed out of the trick and fell was because our son (who was also skating) got in his way. He did the right thing, but I think still felt resentful about that situation.

[tigerlily78]

Well now. The cat came back around this evening!! He came home to shower here after skating at OW's place of employment. Presumably this means he is no longer keen on "hanging out and helping out" while she does her end of the night cleaning. :P

I told him I was surprised to see him again. He said he came home to shower because he felt like it. I asked, "Didn't you have to drive out of the way to get here." He said, "Not really. Maybe a little, I guess." I asked with my best flirty intonations, "Aren't you going to get in trouble for being here?"
He shrugged and gave me a sly smile, "Maybe."

He started to make himself a protein shake. He couldn't get a jar open, he fumbled and muttered and used the wrong jar opening pad and did his best to seem defeated. I offered to open it and did (he has nerve damage from programming, me opening jars is a common thing). He admitted, "I was hoping you would save me." (weirdo)

I told him our son had some things from school he wanted to show him, but that he had just gotten in the shower himself, so it would have to wait. I also asked "Which part of your hair did you cut? The sides?" He confirmed he cut his sideburns before he left earlier. I said, "I noticed you didn't have a chance to clean up your hair, but since I am nice I took care of it already." H said he would have gotten to it eventually, but was running late before, and thanked me for doing it.

He said he hoped he would get to see the school stuff before he left and was going up to take his shower.

After the shower son got to show him a cool bracelet he made (kind of like those para-cord ones that are all the rage now. H thought the bracelet was really awesome. Son also made scented soaps at school. H says, "They all smell so good, I want to taste them. I want to eat your soaps." I laughed and said that was funny, when son came home today he told me about "all the different FLAVORS he made" and I pointed out that he probably meant SCENTS, I bet none of them taste as good as they smell.

H proposed that we go do something as a family tomorrow when he gets off work, maybe go see a movie. Son and I both said we were up for that. H said he was going to head out but stood in the kitchen and said, "If anyone wants a hug, nows your time to come get them." Son gave him a hug, a little awkward again... I think he is just reaching that age where he feels too old to hug his Dad. :P I took a hug too "as long as he was offering." It was a pretty good hug.

Trying to remind myself this doesn't mean anything. It is way too early for it to mean anything. He could even flake out on the movie offer. No expectations, no expectations, no expectations...

[Pudmuddle]

Wow you had lots to say tonight.

Ok, so that makes way more sense about the skating, does help to have a little background on that. And he found some chick that liked skating too. Typical mlc it seems.

As far as the beard, I would use that as a barometer or beardometer as to when he maybe might start to wake up outta this fog. If he starts shaving it maybe he is returning.

That is so cool he came back! See, I told you to not expect it and then when he does, nice surprise.

You were so good with the nice flirty behaviors and you treated him politely even though he had things he wanted you to do, like open jars..."I was hoping you would save me"... Doesn't it seem interesting that they insert things that seem to have WAY more meaning... this was just like my H saying the other night "I will always come home eventually", after being out all night.

Things that make you go hmmmm.

You're doing great, tiger. The movie thing takes a little pressure off of him because it's a family thing and not just a you and him thing, so I bet he will do it. Glad you got a hug!

HUGs to ya.

[tigerlily78]

Haha, Beardometer! That is genius Pud.

I didn't think about that with the movie, but you are right. This makes it "not a date" even though he specifically mentioned going to see the movie I had suggested on my birthday, but it wasn't out yet.

You know it just dawned on me that when we were grocery shopping Monday he asked me to make sure he had picked out the right tofu brats (this is another one of those things that he SHOULD know which ones they are, but felt the need to get me to verify).

Tofu Brats were not on the shopping list, he made the decision to get them. These are the brats I used to chop up and put in an egg burrito I would cook for him when he would get home from skating and be STARVING to death. He hasn't been home after skating to eat one of those burritos in 6 weeks... Why in the world would he want to buy those tofu brats?

There are so many of those things that make you go HMMM!