Posted on the old thread by accident so repeating it here:
Saw a very brief glimpse of the old H today while we were heading back from our meeting. Although he doesn't drive, he always was good a being a spotter - keeping an eye on what was going on the road and making sure I had seen any problems. As much as it sounds like it could be annoying, he sometimes did see things I couldn't due to traffic in front, especially if I was behind a truck. For the last several months, anytime he was in the car with me, he hadn't been doing that. This morning he pointed out a stopped car on the shoulder, partially blocking the live lane, that I hadn't seen due to the big rig in front of me and the bend of the road. I made a point of thanking him and letting him know that I hadn't seen it yet due to the truck. I actually realized that I miss having that second pair of eyes sometimes.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Lucky you had that second pair of eyes I bet it was nice seeing a glimpse of the old H If his life was rosy then I don't think you'd see it at all, but then you've already mentioned that he's made comments about the OW.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Many comments he's made lead me to believe his life is not as rosy as he thought it would be, but at the same time he says or does something completely opposite. Says he doesn't see a future with OW, but her place is where his tools are now being stored. Says he spends a lot of time just doing what he wants, but then has to ask her permission to do an extra shift at work.
That last one really had me struggling not to burst out laughing . I never had any problems with him doing extra shifts if we were short of cash, or even if we had nothing else planned and they were short-staffed.
S13 had a bit of a tough evening. Was down and a bit weepy but willingly talked when asked what was wrong. He wants both his dad and I to be happy, but also wants us back together. I tried to explain things will be okay whatever happens with his dad and I and reassured him over and over that none of this sitch is because of anything he did or didn't do and that both his dad and I will always love him.
He'd cheered up by the time he went to bed - helped by a couple of YouTube clips of Jeff Dunham. It's a shame that anytime Jeff does a show in the province it's at one of the casinos and the minimum age for admission is 19. S13 would love to see him perform live. Maybe when he's older.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Sorry to hear about your son My son doesn't express emotion so I don't know how he's feeling. I'm booking him an appointment today with the mentor, maybe he'll open up to her My H says he's happy to everyone else, but he just moans about money to me. I spoke to his mum the other day, I didn't mention H at all and neither did she. I did mention that people think I've got loads of money and I haven't. MIL validated this so she may or may not pass this information onto H.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks TTD. My son was perfectly fine this morning. Being 13, it's probably all hormonal. OMG, male hormones going rampant. Not sure I'm ready for him to hit puberty. Guess I'd better read up on dealing with teenage boys and puberty - more books for the "to read" list.
MLC twins (at the very least) again. Mine is telling everyone how moving out was the best thing he did, how everything is absolutely rosy. Of course, to me he often mentions his lack of money. It was his choice to move out and have to pay rent and child support on top of his share of the joint debt and whatever socializing he's doing, so lack of money is his problem. As well as the occasional veiled reference to something that she does or says that niggles at him - not that he mentions her by name, but given the context I know its OW he's referring to.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Sorry about your son being sad, NQ. It's so hard to watch them struggle with this cr@p. As if it isn't tough enough just to be a teenager!!! This is where I get so mad at my H, for what he is displaying to his S. I think getting your S a mentor is the best thing you can do right now. He needs someone to talk to that is not a parent and will hold his confidence.
Gosh I feel so sorry for your H and his money issues...NOT. Gee, looky what he got himself into. Mine still lives at home so still has all the comforts of home and being an a$$. LOL.
It's so strange to see them doing things that they wouldn't normally do if they were with you. But I take that as they are still trying desperately to figure themselves out. Poor babies.
NOT. LOL, can you tell what kind of mood I am in today??
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
I don't know if I could still live in the same house as my H right now. Since he moved out, I'm more relaxed and I'm sleeping better as well - except last night as it got cold pretty darn quick. Oh well, I'll just dig out the duvet and replace the blanket with that and it should be warmer.
Actually, H and I usually get along better since he moved out - although sometimes when he's over visiting our son I get anxious for him to leave because I've had enough of him for one day. I think it's because I'm not walking on eggshells around him to make sure I don't upset him and because he now feels freer to do whatever he wants whenever he wants - even if he does have to report into OW and to his landlady. One day, he might grow up and become the man he used to be.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Do you mean you are walking on egg shells? lol. I've been walking on egg shells round my H for a while because of his depression. Funny how he's always blamed his depression on me, but gues what? He's still depressed! lol. I couldn't have him living here either, at least not whilst he's still in his MLC state. I didn't used to mind him coming round, but now I'm not looking forward to seeing him again! Had a good day today, but I'll update my thread with the details
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
. I never had any problems with him doing extra shifts if we were short of cash, or even if we had nothing else planned and they were short-staffed.
My son doesn't express emotion so I don't know how he's feeling. I'm booking him an appointment today with the mentor, maybe he'll open up to her