Do I tell her how I feel 1 year on?

[LJC]

Hello all - not posted on here for quite a while which I'm sorry about

I wondered if I could ask for some advice? I've been separated from my wife for nearly a year and tbh my love for her still hasn't gone away? I want to tell her how I feel either face to face or text/email that I still think about her daily and still love her very much.

Some of you will probably hate the idea but I don't want to feel that if we are still S years down the line, I at least told W how I felt! The worst feeling in the world is 'What if"

I still really want to reconcile with W and want her to know how I feel so I don't get that dreaded "what if" feeling. I want her to give me a second chance and if she knows how I feel her heart may warm to the idea?

Any advice will be much appreciated or if any of you have a different angle of attack I'd like to hear about it

TY

[JayMan]

Kind of hard to tell - what's happened since March?

[labug]

I did a temp check at a little over a year into the sep. I just wrote about it again today-sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Have no expectations or at least very little.

You can check out my thread.

[hotwheelsaust]

LJC, I cannot advise you what to do, as I am in the same boat literally to the same dates as you. I have been thinking about should I contact the wife on the anniversary of BD and ask what.......I don't knnow.
But like you, I wonder if she is simply waiting at times for that magical something I need to do.

[Fartiltre]

HWA, LJC

I used to be the jedimaster of temp-checking and it never brought me anything good! All I got was W confirming her ILUB and a lot of other unpleasant stuff. She didn’t just confirm this to me - every time I checked in I gave her a chance to confirm it to herself.

At the same time I can't remember reading even once that temp-checking has brought anything good but that might just be me.

I understand the need and the urge to do this so well, but I would say no to both of you.

F

[hotwheelsaust]

And you are probably right F. Though the difference in me is a few months or weeks ago I would have been struggling with this question, now it is just simply a question.

[Fartiltre]

Got you on that one, HWA
You have come a looooong way!

[JuneReN]

Bug has it right. Unless you are in a place where you can hear every possible answer and not let it affect your path in any way, then I would advise against it.

But, sometimes we just gotta know some things to make that next big step. I also know that you should be continuing on your own path regardless, but the simple truth is that we love theses people. While detachment is the ultimate goal, there is no timeline on how long they stay in our hearts and, yes, to some extent, affect our lives.

[Maritimer]

I am having the exact same struggle as you. Wondering maybe she wants to be asked? I mean we work so hard to improve ourselfs they would be a fool not to want to be with the improved you!

Most advise here seem to steer away from temp checking.

Going to check out labug thread to see how that went.

[labug]

Kate is right.

In my sitch, the temp check was more about things I needed to say not that I needed to hear anything from him. It was a watershed.