It has been a couple of months since my first post. Many changes have taken place since then. We have purchased a new home in the country and changed schools for the kids along with all the other hassles of moving. Maybe i should give some stats first Married almost 20years Married before 6 years this is Wifes First 2 children age 11 and 13 I'm a stay at home dad..mrmom Happy in my marriage ; except for the sex life
When I saw Micchelle on the TODAY show I imediately called my W at work and told her about the book. We ordered it and had both read it within the first few days. Of course we both saw ourselves in the different situations in the book. My W is the low level sex drive and i'm the high level. Over the past 13-15 years our sex life had diwindled to only once a month , if that. But after reading the book She began to understand how i was feeling about it. I hadn't had an affair, but had considered it . alot of times I was feeling that maybe it was just over.I stayed angry alot. But I never gave up. After reading the book our sex life improved for a short time. but with the stress of buying a new home, her job and just being plain worn out, we dropped back into the same old pattern. Neither of us initializing any lovemaking and I guess I went back to just not trying. Today while having coffee, I asked her to read the book again. She laughed and said that maybe she better. What brought it back to mind was the other day as we were discussing how to set up a room. I found myself getting angry for no apparent reason. when she asked why I was go grouchy. I almost started the old arguement of "well If i had some loving.....". I caught myself and apologized. I see alot of posts on here where it seems that people have given up or are so angry that they just want to call it quits. I really feel for these people and hope they can find ways to keep thier love alive even when it's seems so bleak. Sometimes rereading something, or just trying one more time is all it takes. I love my Wife with all my heart and even though our sex life has been a battle. I will never give up. Thanks for listening to my rambling
JOnNee, I'm glad that you found the book helpful and I'm not surprised that things slide back. You see, when you put energy into your marriage and really focus on doing what works, things work!! When you stop, and put your marriage/sex on the back burner, guess what happens? It stops working. In the same way that you'd never expect a car to keep running on one tank of gasoline, you need to keep refueling your marriage. Sounds as if you were both "guilty" of letting things slide. We all do that from time to time. But what separates the winners from the losers isn't the number of setbacks, its the efficiency with which we get back on track. I love that your wife laughed when you suggested re-reading the book. A sense of humor is necessary for staying on track. So good for you. You know what you need to do. Now do it! Just do it! Michele
Well, Michele, I ordered your book on sex today, even though my WAW moved out almost two years ago and my opportunity to try anything with her has vanished along with her physical self.
She has said in our C sessions that she has no sexual feelings for me any more (although she sure had them and intense ones, too, earlier in our 23-year marriage).
Do you have any advice for older guys? I am seventy-one, and she is forty-five. She complained about my flaccidity. I tried Viagra, but we didn't use it very long before she split after having found a younger man.
I was really surprised that she could be so fixated on that physical condition. She always had an orgasm anyway, usually from oral sex.
