Hi Good folks, I’ve been rummaging thru my computer and I came across the following copies of hand written letters that Liz (my Ex) wrote and sent to our kids a week after she left us. I have put down their ages at the time of these letters. My additions are in brackets.
I hope this will help in trying to understand what’s going thru some ones head during a MLC.
Love Delboy
Mon 2nd Feb 2004
To my darling Louise (Aged 17), I apologise for my behaviour towards you over the past weeks. I know that I have been very selfish with what I have done and for the way that I left home last week. Dad (Delboy) gave me a letter that said I had damaged our relationship I can understand why.
I will try and explain, a couple of years ago my feelings changed towards your dad, I felt that we didn’t have anything in common, I gave up trying, about a year ago I got involved with Nic, he would cheer me up and make me feel a lot better. I know that it was wrong. But by this time I had fallen for him, I did not mean to break a family up.
I have been thinking of you, sorry that I haven’t been in contact but I was afraid you wouldn’t speak to me.
Love U always Mum
I will write again, or if I have the courage send you a text or even phone. I hope that you are well I miss you a lot.
Love you. From Mum X
Mon 2nd Feb 2004
To my darling Ann (Aged 19), I apologise for my behaviour towards you over the past weeks. I have been selfish? With what I done and for leaving home the way that I did. I had a letter off Dad (Delboy) saying that I’d damaged our relationship and to explain why I’ve done all this.
I will try, I felt that me and your Dad had nothing in common after all these years, I got fed up, I think it started after we lost money (Delboy’s business failures). I don’t mean to blame anyone but these things happen, about a year ago I became fond of Nic he would cheer me up. And I would turn to him, I know that it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it.
I just want to say that I am so proud of you. You are everything that I am not. I am sorry that I have not been in contact with you, but I was afraid that you would not speak to me after all that I have done. I really miss you I am always thinking of you, I love you very much, hope you are well. I well text U or call you soon.
Take care of yourself Lots of Love Mum X
Mon 2nd Feb 2004
My darling Dawn (Aged 13), I just want you to know that I am sorry for what I have done. I know that you didn’t understand my behaviour when I was home the last time, because I saw the way you looked at me.
I would not talk with your Dad about how I felt, that is why I drifted apart from him. I want to say that I miss you a lot and love you. I am always thinking of you and hopefully soon I will be able to talk to you.
All My Love Mum X
P.S. I will understand if you don’t want to speak to me. I will always be your Mum no matter what!
Wow. It's amazing how she can see how her actions hurt her kids, understands that they may no longer want to talk to her, even exhibits a sense of shame, yet cannot change course or try to work on the M.
What is their relationship with their Mum like nowadays?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Thanks for your reply FY, My youngest D Dawn suffer's with rejection now. she's been for counselling but not for many sessions, because the counsellors are very busy at the GP's surgery.
Ex W, couldn't face seeing or talk to Dawn for many months after she had moved in with Nic. Dawn Crapped herself when I said we should all go and see her. But Eldest D couldn't make it because of exams at college. We turned up one morning (Monday 5th July 04) at the hotel where she worked. I said my bit and left my 2 d's to talk to her etc. But Liz mainly wanted to know what Dawn's measurements were so she could buy her clothes, instead of giving her love!
Lets see what I wrote in my diary: Met Liz today, what a state to get into!
