Found out a year ago my husband was having an EA with a woman that I knew. We were separated 2 months and started going to counseling and working on our marriage. After 6 months he moved back into the home. Things seemed to be going great and then a month ago I caught him on a second phone talking to her again. We got into an argument and he told me we were done and left.
We own our own business and have a 9 yr old son, so we do have to keep some contact. I've read DB and DR and am trying to keep to the rules. My problem is this, he comes over telling me he loves me, no one will ever replace me, but he doesn't know if he's in love with OW or not. He recently asked me to go on a 4 day trip and I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Me-49, H-45 M - 4, Together 9 SS-9 Bomb Dropped - 9/12 Separation - 10/12 Reconcile -2/13 Separation - 8/2013 Reconcile - 10/2013 Separation - 12/2013 Reconcile - 2/14 Separate - 5/14 H Filed D - 8/14
Hi Tina, Glad you found us and are learning the DB techniques. However, each situation is unique and more information is needed. If you haven't talked to a DB coach, I highly suggest it. They are superb in helping you come up with a game plan that could give you the best outcome. There are coaches available today! Take care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
We own our own business and have a 9 yr old son, so we do have to keep some contact. I've read DB and DR and am trying to keep to the rules. My problem is this, he comes over telling me he loves me, no one will ever replace me, but he doesn't know if he's in love with OW or not.
If it were me, I'd calmly respond "Well then I guess we BOTH have some decisions to make."
And then I'd walk away, and not tip my hand as to where my head and heart are at the moment. And I'd DAMNED sure not go on a will-you-be-my-2nd-choice-bootie-call weekend with him!!
Let him wonder what you're thinking, and what you're going to do with your new discovery. If he presses you, say "Honestly, I really don't think I owe YOU any sort of explanation or reassurances right now. I have some decisions to make."
KarenR, I do not have the funds for a coach at this time. Have been reading this forum for almost a month. Would love to do that, but not feasible right now.
Starsky, I told him in order for this marriage to go any further he has to go NC with OW in front of me and start MC and IC. I am starting my own IC for me. And asfaras the weekend thing goes, part of me really wants to go, thinking it is a reach from him to "talk", but I totally am in self preseverance mode and do not want to have any expectations. My inital thought was not to go. He calls continuously and I do not accept half the calls. I told him it needs to be kept strictly business or child related. Recently set down some boundaries with him about just showing up at the house, and a parenting schedule, work schedule. Thanks again for the responses.
Me-49, H-45 M - 4, Together 9 SS-9 Bomb Dropped - 9/12 Separation - 10/12 Reconcile -2/13 Separation - 8/2013 Reconcile - 10/2013 Separation - 12/2013 Reconcile - 2/14 Separate - 5/14 H Filed D - 8/14
