My husband got back from deployment a week ago and just two days out of the airplane, he said he wants a divorce and is in love with someone else that he met there.
We have a one year old and I'm 9 months pregnant. When we conceived this child before he left, he was excited about having another one and said I was "it," the woman of his life and with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Now I don't recognize this man. He is suicidal, cold, heartless, and says he is no longer attracted to me and has both feet out the door. He wants a divorce ASAP.
Also read Sandi2's 37 Rules. They are going to sound counterintuitive to you, but it is what works with a WAS. Just back off and give him time and space. Don't pursue, don't beg and plead, don't push him to talk about the M. Read DR when you get a chance, it's your roadmap and gameplan. Good luck!
Hey bug! Thanks for pointing her to the pregnant threads. Lol.
Preggonow-take labug's advice about leaving him alone. He needs that right now. Remember it is not forever, but if you push he will continue to run. I've had many backslides because of my mind racing & acting on it.
Do your best to keep a positive mental attitude. It really does make a difference.
AnotherStander can't preach the 37 rules any better. Learn 'em & live 'em they are life savers.
Make time for yourself. Try not to mindread (this is my hardest thing to overcome). It will eat you alive. Remember...at this point he is absolutely not going to 100% truthful to you no matter what you want to believe. His actions are to be taken just the same as his words.
If you can stay living together peacefully, I would suggest doing so.
Be strong for yourself, 1 yr old & growing baby inside you.
When are you due?
in_it
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
Thank you all!!! For some reason my posts did not go through until today, so I posted this topic twice.
My question is: he keeps saying he is absolutely in love with OW. Do I have hope? Did anyone here ever go through something like that? H is in love and then comes back to love his wife?
I guess my posts will take a while to become public, so let me update all at once
I still haven't received the book, so I'm not quite sure what to do.
I've been getting a life and doing less of the same, but I am still not sure what I am doing wrong, to tell you the truth.
H has agreed and even asked to go to counseling. He has been asking me to hang out all the time. Yesterday he would not take no for an answer.
Today he woke up in a bad mood and has been maintaining a lot of distance, but he has talked about the future.
I know this is a silly example, but my toddler made a dent on the television and H said, "I will wait an year or so to buy another one, because its just going to get broken again."
He also mentioned that he only took his wedding ring off because one day I wasn't wearing mine (because I was angry).
I didn't see any signs that he talked with OW today.
Now, the thing I don't understand is: H is super touchy feely but he will not only not touch me, but actually recoils when I reach out to him. It's like he is disgusted by me.
We had a conversation today (we have long conversations almost every day) and he said he does not want a divorce, but that he gave up on me a long time ago. Meaning, his feelings for me have died.
This is all very strange because although we were perfect before deployment, we were very close and loving.
