Kudos to you for not giving up. When my H drew up preliminary divorce papers and I thought it was for sure done and over, I told him he had to have the convo with D6. He never did. I later realized it was because when it came down to it, he wasn't 100% sure he really wanted a divorce yet. Maybe this is the case in your situation - or maybe like you said he doesn't have the guts to do it.
I think stepping back and letting him do what he thinks he needs to do is the best option right now. Keep DR!
From my previous thread.
Thanks Jersey for your support . My H did say when he told me that he wanted to change the status of our separation from "trial" that in terms of a divorce he "hasn't thought that far ahead". I have made sure he knows that none of this is my choice or my decision and that if he does want to go the D route, then he's going to have to do it, even though I would have enough grounds due to his adultery (didn't mention that last bit of course, just thought it). Many of our mutual friends are convinced that once OW realizes just what she's got in him (ie, not a penny to his name LOL) and how dependent he's going to be on her to drive him everywhere as well, she'll soon be gone and he'll probably try to come crawling back to me. Those that haven't met OW have said that once he fully realizes what he's walking away from, he'll come crawling back as well.
Only time will tell. Just as only time will tell if I'll still have that door open - but to use H 's words "I haven't thought that far ahead" .
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
lol NQ, I like your PMA on this It's true that once the OW will see that he's not got any money then she might dump him. This is the case with my H as well, he's got no money. He can't afford to D me, so how is he going to do all the couples stuff with her I do not know. Anyway more of that on my thread She will get fed up of driving him everywhere as well and this is what I'm hoping. At the mo it's H that does all the driving around and I know he used to get fed up of me asking for lifts everywhere. Again I'll be posting more of this on my thread I'm not being obsessive about this, I'm just stating facts and assumptions. Well maybe I might be getting a little obsessive, but I think this is normal when you don't know what's really going on. The affair never lasts when they leave you for someone else because it's like a rebound and normally couples wait for a year or two before they even think about having another serious relationship. I know that I'm not ready for another man just now. What I don't like is Sundays when you're on your own and you know everyone else is sitting down with their family for a Sunday dinner together. It's much better when I get to go out with my friend for a Sunday lunch, it breaks up the day
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I forgot to comment on your last post about watching Mrs brown and Mrs bucket. So pleased you've found these shows and introduced your son to these as well
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks TTD. I’m trying, and actually it’s getting easier as the days go by .
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
The affair never lasts when they leave you for someone else because it's like a rebound and normally couples wait for a year or two before they even think about having another serious relationship. I know that I'm not ready for another man just now. What I don't like is Sundays when you're on your own and you know everyone else is sitting down with their family for a Sunday dinner together. It's much better when I get to go out with my friend for a Sunday lunch, it breaks up the day
I know I’m not ready for anyone else yet. Sundays isn’t too much of a problem as I’ve got my dad and my son around for Sunday dinner. The worst thing I’m finding about Sundays is having H at the house. The problem is S13 can never think of anything to do with his dad that doesn’t require a driver so they end up sitting at the computer taking it in turns playing video games. I’m trying to keep myself occupied so that I don’t really notice that he’s there and I certainly don’t think I should have to go out just because H can’t think of anything to do that doesn’t involve the computer.
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
I forgot to comment on your last post about watching Mrs brown and Mrs bucket. So pleased you've found these shows and introduced your son to these as well
I’m just glad YouTube has them. Last night we found a couple of One Foot in the Grave clips and some Jasper Carrott. S13 had seen Jasper before and requested him. I also found a couple clips of Kevin the Teenager. S13 didn’t laugh a lot, a few smiles but he did ask for some more clips so I’m guessing he liked them. And they say laughter is the best medicine !
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Have you seen the one yet when Kevin the teenager turns from a 12 year old to a teenager overnight, that's the best one Also the one when he's been told to wash his dad's car and he keeps putting it off - That's a close second Jasper Carrott is hilarious I agree that laughter is the best medicine I know what you mean about having H round on Sundays. The last 2 times when I've arranged to go out for lunch with my friend, H said he was going to bring my son back early as he's not got a lot of money for lunch as well. He said he was going to bring my son back for lunch. I confess that I've given him some money so he can keep him out a bit longer and I can enjoy some me time with my friend, Grrrr. Another boundary that I'm going to have to put into place. I can't see why he can't take his son back to his apt and give him a sandwich. Again this will have to be done gently as to not upset the apple cart.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Have you seen the one yet when Kevin the teenager turns from a 12 year old to a teenager overnight, that's the best one Also the one when he's been told to wash his dad's car and he keeps putting it off - That's a close second Jasper Carrott is hilarious I agree that laughter is the best medicine
I deliberately searched out those two as I seem to remember you recommending those two episodes to MileHigh. I went to see Jasper Carrott live when I lived in England – not something I’d recommend doing when 8 months pregnant LOL . H sat through the show with one hand on his cell phone in case he had to call 999 .
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
I know what you mean about having H round on Sundays. The last 2 times when I've arranged to go out for lunch with my friend, H said he was going to bring my son back early as he's not got a lot of money for lunch as well. He said he was going to bring my son back for lunch. I confess that I've given him some money so he can keep him out a bit longer and I can enjoy some me time with my friend, Grrrr. Another boundary that I'm going to have to put into place. I can't see why he can't take his son back to his apt and give him a sandwich. Again this will have to be done gently as to not upset the apple cart.
Yep, set that boundary, especially if you’re actually giving him the money to do it. I admit I do offer to feed H if I’m doing lunch for S13 and me (but only if I’m making lunch already), but he usually declines the offer. He did accept the offer of coffee this week so I guess that's something.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Oh I know my H wouldn't decline the offer of lunch or will just leave whatever his mood is that day. He doesn't see his son much anyway, so really I'm paying for my son to spend a bit more time with his dad. I don't give him that much money anyway, it's probably not enough to pay for both of them! I'm putting a stop to this anyway as I'm a bit broke this month so I can't afford to subsidise H as well (especially if he keeps nicking the toast as well! lol). He's due back from his mini break on Weds, it's funny how I've been feeling more relaxed since he's been away Also with this new revelation of a possible OW it makes you able to detach easier
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
He's due back from his mini break on Weds, it's funny how I've been feeling more relaxed since he's been away Also with this new revelation of a possible OW it makes you able to detach easier
You know what they say - "out of sight, out of mind". I know they also say "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but so far I haven't seen any evidence of that in my H.
I found it so much easier to detach after H moved out. I've known about OW since BD so I can't really say that knowing, or suspecting, had any impact on detaching. Once my H moved out, I was able to relax more - no more walking on eggshells around him.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
. My H did say when he told me that he wanted to change the status of our separation from "trial" that in terms of a divorce he "hasn't thought that far ahead". I have made sure he knows that none of this is my choice or my decision and that if he does want to go the D route, then he's going to have to do it, even though I would have enough grounds due to his adultery (didn't mention that last bit of course, just thought it). Many of our mutual friends are convinced that once OW realizes just what she's got in him (ie, not a penny to his name 
LOL) and how dependent he's going to be on her to drive him everywhere as well, she'll soon be gone and he'll probably try to come crawling back to me. Those that haven't met OW have said that once he fully realizes what he's walking away from, he'll come crawling back as well.
!