ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Any thread with over 100 comments tends to get closed at the weekends.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Just found this quote from AnotherStander to 2old, and felt I needed to add it here for me.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Whether you do it or don't do it, you've got to quit worrying about what her reaction is going to be. This isn't a chess game where every little move might lead to victory or defeat. She's a WAS, she's done. Nothing you do right now is going to make an impression on her right NOW (although it might later). You need to have confidence in yourself, do what you think is right and do it with NO expectations because you are confident that you are being true to yourself. If you send a message and you get no reply, you should still be able to think to yourself "well she's a WAS and she's following the WAS script, but what I did was the right thing and I'm glad I did it." Make sense?
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I spent 12 months doing things hoping it would create change in W. I was living for R with W. It's what a lot of the LBS does whether 20 vets tell them to or not.
I have found that with DB you don't understand the parts you are working on until you have moved through it. That's why taking the vets advice is so important. If we could do it ourselves then why are we on here?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
T1000, I like it because it is something to continue remembering what I need to do or think about. It isn't a game of chess, doesn't matter if she visits the boys, or does her own thing during the holidays. There is no points being scored. I also like the idea (the way it was written) that the WAS is done and nothing I do is going to make an impression to her now. I need to show more confidence and accept no expectations from her. A big one to learn there. It comes down to bit by bit, I am not doing as many things or thinking as many things, with the hope of R with the W. Decisions are being made for me, not for us.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Thats the best attitude. Become awesome either way.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Well it looks like a lot of caring people grabbed the question about the place you live! That’s good – I do hope you have been thinking – I know you have!
Your personal HR-inquisition is almost ready to judge – How are you doing? Got the books?
Fingers, legs and arms crossed!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
F, thanks for the look in. Books haven't arrived yet. Remember I am out in the sticks. Ha ha. I do agree a lot of caring people asked about the transfer. I am doing fine with regards to HR advising about the transfer. Less than 48 hours now. Thanks for the fingers, legs and arms crossed. All the best also for your surgery.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Yea what AS said there was totally correct...Im on 5 months this week and I have been n/c for the past month. Thanks to many ppl here I know you can only do for yourself. I also know NO EXPECTATIONS....With the n/c I have begun to feel better also. HWA hope you get your transfer, I've been reading...
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
