Newcomer here, been reading a lot on the forums--so helpful. Discovered I’ve been DBing/180-ing a lot on my own (after months of doing it all wrong), now need to learn the whole system.
Need urgently to read one of MWD's books to get full grasp of strategies for immediate use. Which is better place to start, DB or DR? Also any recc of espcially good threads in forums for my immediate crisis SITCH?
I especially need support on infidelity/EA/lying. Months of on-off piecing, on-off signals that she's back in M, and on-off-on-off-on EA (now find she has secret cell phone after lots of slow, positive progress on both our parts to experience more happiness togther and as family w/ 9 YO son.
Also read Sandi2's 37 Rules, it's kind of the crib notes for DR. Implement those rules right away.
What you describe in your OP is not uncommon with WAS's. They are exploring a new life for themselves (it may be overt or secret) while trying to keep a foot in their old life too. They give a lot of mixed signals during that time and it can be very confusing to the LBS. I'm sorry to say it but things will very likely get worse from here. You've got a long journey ahead of you, be patient.
Thanks Another. I carry 37 rules with me and read frequently! W admitted feelings for OM 12/12. Been a long road since then. Think she too thought it was over at some point leading up to 6/28/13 when at last day at her old job, he popped back up and "the whole thing came back." Sounds like he never pursued it seriously because he was afraid for his career. He senior doctor, she was cafeteria worker. Today, it's feeling more and more like it's overr/winding down. Whether that's her decison or his, I don't know. Not sure it matters. Words and actions are noticably on the 'coming towards me' side. Last weekend I db-ed over changing her oil. Said, I can show you how so you can start doing these things on your own. "You're not goin' anywhere for a long time!" (We laughed and I said, "ooohh yeah, your so sure of that...huh?!) Anywho, will keep at it. Thanks!
