This morning i had a meltdown. First one in a very long time and i lost it over the time my kids spend with XH.well not the time but the quality of time.
Dont get me wrong but i want the kids to have good strong erelationships with their Dad but i resent it , when they go out socially with him {dinner, shows, go carting ) etc but for me they have not got the time. They treat me like I am always going to be there. My kids are 21,23,25. Only the 23 yr old lives at home and she is the worse. It seems as long as Dads throwing the money around ( or so it seems ) he gets the time. I will not enter a pissing competition with my kids on money. I have the family home which i maintain for their benefit. i would prefer to downsize but dont . 23 yr ood does not pay board for her keep and her boyfriend is abaout to move in. How do i deal with my insecuritys ?
The reality is that adult kids will make their own decisions on how and when they spend time with their separated parents. However what you allow in your home is your choice. Before your daughter's boyfriend moves in, you would be well advised to get clarity on what is best for you. I suggest talking to a DB coach to help you deal with these issues, as your coach would help you figure out the best way to have an adult relationship with your kids, where your needs are met. Take good care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
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