They say that new threads bring change. So I wish you good changes for your new thread. You can control your own changes, I had you look backwards on your first thread. Continue to do that as time goes along and you will be amazed at how far you have travelled.
Ha, I agree I'm not to old yet. After reading what Sandi wrote yesterday set me to thinking last night. The links to the threads you provided regarding MLC and LBS's I read with great interest also. There are also some posts here where its mentioned that in some cases the LBS knows their WAS fairly well. Yes, they are in a somewhat different state of mind. However, alot of their patterns and ways of thinking can still be identified from your M with them. Yes, many go way off their usual patterns. It seems to me that the WAS's who leave and experience hurt and pain or whatever else it can be described as do do for one reason, they care about the S they left. With that said, my WAW has a couple of things I know about her and her thought process. First off, she has the ability to completely change her mind on things in a flash. One minute she can be saying it one way and then for whatever reason hours or sometimes a day or so later she see's it completely different. Several times I have been completely baffled by this. The second thing is and this is where I have concern is that she is easily talked into or out of something. This is known by her own family to be the case with her. Not sure yet how this all adds up to this sitch but, I am sure there are current and future actions to come from these. Any thoughts?
Hi I found my way here I often wonder if my H had been initially persuaded by his friends or family to leave me or initiate D. He also is easily influenced. You will find though that as time goes on, you think about this less and less expecially when you start focussing more in GALs and 180s. You start looking for the positives and dismiss the negatives. You W is in a fog at the moment and she needs to find out what she wants. She will be confused and in return will confuse you. That's why I've got 2 threads on here called confused and still confused. Have a nice day today and speak to you soon
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
hi trying, I really do believe as you say my W is in a fog. No doubt about that. Glad u found your way here....I put a link to it on your thread I think...I am off to GAL today!!! Going with family to the state capital of north carolina, Raliegh for some fun in the big city...lol...
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The links to the threads you provided regarding MLC and LBS's I read with great interest also.
I have a different welcome post on the MLC board that is chocked full of links and homework assignments. If you get some time read it and do all the homework.
My thoughts of this
Quote:
One minute she can be saying it one way and then for whatever reason hours or sometimes a day or so later she see's it completely different. Several times I have been completely baffled by this. The second thing is and this is where I have concern is that she is easily talked into or out of something. This is known by her own family to be the case with her. Not sure yet how this all adds up to this sitch but, I am sure there are current and future actions to come from these. Any thoughts?
is that she is confused and that is part of the script. You can not FIX her or CONTROL her, she must do that on her own. That process takes a very long time. Best to let her do that work and when she has completed it then you see where the two of you are at.
That is why the basic advice of DETACH is given. It is the only real thing you can do!
Thanks for the links, I'm going to have a look at them in a bit
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hi Cadet, can you provide links to the welcome posts on the mlc/lbs board as I can't find them, thanks
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I often wonder if my H had been initially persuaded by his friends or family to leave me or initiate D. He also is easily influenced. You will find though that as time goes on, you think about this less and less expecially when you start focussing more in GALs and 180s. You start looking for the positives and dismiss the negatives. You W is in a fog at the moment and she needs to find out what she wants. She will be confused and in return will confuse you. That's why I've got 2 threads on here called confused and still confused. Have a nice day today and speak to you soon