Thanks for the words of advice. We only separated 5 days ago after 3 months of her telling me she needed space and me fighting with everything I've got to not go but in the end, I'd tried everything I could think of and left.
I have no expectation, only hope and in the mean time I am GAL and focusing on me.
I am also reading DR. It all makes a lot of sense and has shown me what I was doing wrong.
At the moment, I'm just working on me. As far as I'm concerned, there is no "us" any longer. Perhaps in the future there will be a new "us" but there's still a long road as you say.
Just blogging: It's now week 2 being away. I did go back Friday night and am pretty sure I came on a bit too strong. Guess I'm going to have to learn quickly about backing away.
R is up and down. I'm still thoroughly confused about what I should and shouldn't be doing so step close to a line but I think I'm getting the hang of it.
I couldn't let W birthday pass without "the kids" getting her something so I've ordered a few bits. Naughty I know but not fair on D if they miss out.
Just blogging: Still on moderation but hope someone will read this.
I am thoroughly confused. The weekend came and went and it was a good one. W and I had a good long chat and she's open to the idea of me going back after the girls are back in school and she can have some real "her" time. There was even some intimacy between us but nothing really has changed.
It still feels like to me that everything is still on her terms. From when I can go back, to what we do, where we go. I feel like I even have to ask permission to kiss her.
As far as I'm concerned, and of course I only see my side, I'm still the one doing all the giving. And it's starting to make me have doubts as to whether I want to go back.
Hi ANH, I cant help you but having read your situation i know where you are at, its fairly similar to my situation. Like you i go through times where i think i am on the only one trying and boy that [censored] and i also sometimes have doubts whether i should continue. The only thing that keeps me positive and moving forward is my children and the knowledge that we once had something special that is what i want to go back to, even to the point that i have come too far and been through so much pain that i want it to have been for something. All i can do is wish you the best, and hope that things get better for you, hang in there!
Take care H
Me: 39 W: 33 Son:7 Daughter:4 Its Over: March 7th 2013 Moved back home Mid June, trying to make it work
