Ok, as if my life weren't crazy and disfunctional enough...here we go with round 2. After a year of this roller coaster ride I finally decided to get off. I can take no more and am through waiting for something to change. With that being said once H gets a job I want to move on. I came up with a plan, made an appt with a D attorney and I'm moving ahead. Kids on board. Sounds great, right?? Except that now things have changed yet again.
I am friends with an ex-bf of my bff. He is a nice guy. They are no longer together. He is divorced and has been really good bout listening to me and offeing advice. Nothing else. Suddenly I start getting texts from him asking me out for drinks. To be honest. I don't care but bc of kids and the crazy on am currently on I think this would be a bad move until we seperate. So, I ignore the texts. H sees my phone one day and flips out. REally?? You have been sleeping out, leaving every night for a year and cheating and now suddenly how dare I talk to another man? Well, believe it or not he is actually jealous. All along he wanted nothing to do with me. Except now he is threateing this other guy that I have no realationship with. Telling him to stay away from his wife.Other guy calls me up and said that he wants to date me. I'm in shock but it is still weird and he dated my bff so I will just pass on him. Plus, the truth is I am still married and think it is weird that he is stepping in now in my current sitch. So, suddenly H has shown an interest in me again. complimenting me, staying home and telling me when he goes out where he has been. Today I got some playful texts from him. Now what?? Is this all still part of MLC? Should I stick with the plan to seperate? Any advise would be good.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
Whether you separate to stay depends on how you feel, and you should probably sit and think about it for awhile, although maybe you already have.
I think your H suddenly realizes that you are not the sure thing, and this explains his recent behavior. He CAN lose you, and this is the first time it seems real to him. However, I do not think it is the end of the MLC and his behavior. Once he thinks your safe again, he may revert to his current ways.
You might delay separation and remain detached from H and see how your sitch progresses. Maybe even use the current sitch to set boundaries on him and OW?
Thanks Sailing...I agree. I am still going detached and trying to tell myself we will seperate so I am not going down the same rollercoaster as before. I really am fine with the seperation now although I think he will make it difficult for us to actually be apart. He doesn't seem to know what he wants which is evident by his behavior. I no longer have the patience to wait around for him. I'm not sure I will ever have the same feelings for him again. At this point, the hard part is the financial piece. I have no money and together we are just getting by. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of staying together until this recent situation. To be honest..it was very flattering to have someone interested in me and renewed my thoughts that maybe I won't be alone the rest of my life. I think my husband thought I would sit around for the rest of my days yearning for him. Now he realizes that isn't the case after all.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
