M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Yes up until lately you did have the boys at weekends but as you knew things were changing. I never knew you wanted to see them this weekend. I can not just assume you want to see them as you have not once contacted me and like I said, less than 24 hours is not enough notice.
I replied:
It has been a long standing weekly occurrence that I have the kids at the weekends. You have never asked for any notice in the last 12 months. You never contacted me about changing the visitation for this weekend.
I don't want to argue the same point again and again. The kids have a right to see me. They didn't get to see me last weekend because you wanted them.
You and I have things we need to sort out. Lets not get the kids involved if we can help it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
This the whole conversation so it's not broken up from the old thread:
T1000: Hi,
Just checking it's OK to pick the kids up at 3 tomorrow, could you let me know?
In regards to not using solicitors and arranging things ourselves. I want to see if we can agree on a co-parenting/visitation schedule before we go any further.
Wife: You haven't seen your kids in two week, never once asked about them and only now you reply! Never knew you wanted to see the kids this weekend since you've pretty much vanished off the face of the earth....shows just how great a Dad you really are!! And I'll tell you this Mark, these boys have never been so great or peaceful in months the way they have been in the two whole weeks they have stayed with me and not had to travel all that way to that [censored] hole!
You never got back to me about us sorting out the divorce so I told my solicitor just to go ahead with the paperwork. The offer was there and like the selfish bastard you are, you're going to be the one who loses out!
T1000: If you want to go through solicitors that is fine with me.
I will be there around 15:00 tomorrow.
Wife: You've not gave a [censored] about them boys in the last two weeks. You want to see them them contact me through your solicitor as I've already made plans for the weekend with them. I had no idea you wanted to see them. Less than 24 hours notice is not enough time!
T1000: I have the kids every week on a Friday unless there is a change of plan.
One change of plan was you having them last weekend.
Nothing has been arranged about changing it this weekend.
Wife: Yes up until lately you did have the boys at weekends but as you knew things were changing. I never knew you wanted to see them this weekend. I can not just assume you want to see them as you have not once contacted me and like I said, less than 24 hours is not enough notice.
T1000: It has been a long standing weekly occurrence that I have the kids at the weekends. You have never asked for any notice in the last 12 months. You never contacted me about changing the visitation for this weekend.
I don't want to argue the same point again and again. The kids have a right to see me. They didn't get to see me last weekend because you wanted them.
You and I have things we need to sort out. Lets not get the kids involved if we can help it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
T! Way to keep your cool. Say as little as possible, continue PMA. Don't let her bring you to her level. She is acting out because she has alway had control. You are standing up and that is awesome. As a wise man told me before. If you are angry you care. The opposite of love is indifference. She is clearly upset and its because you are not letting her control everything. It will get worse before it gets better. But I think what you are doing is the only way to get your W to understand that her behavior is not acceptable. I'm assuming the way she is behaving is not the W you want to be married to? The only thing that I would be concern about is her drinking. From what I've read it doesn't seem like she can go that long without it and she had had them a while. Does this concern you? Make sure you are documenting everything
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Wife: You're the one who wanted to sort things through solicitors...only playing by your own rules.
T1000: I didn't have much choice when you said you were going to see a solicitor to file a divorce petition.
Wife: No you did have a choice on MONDAY to take me up on the offer of us sorting things out.
T1000: I never realised you wanted to move so quickly. It's quite a big thing to decide on, I wanted to think about it.
Wife: Well like you said......lets keep contact through solicitors.
T1000: I still want to see the kids.
Wife: Yes of course you can, just give me the dates you want to see them in advance.
T1000: In future we can do that. I want to see them tomorrow.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
At first I wanted to argue back every point so badly. I sat and thought, remove the emotion, don't react and respond like an adult.
I'm at a point now though where I am balancing not letting her have control and also calming her down enough to get the kids. Not easy.
I'm pretty sure everyone can see she is doing this out of spite.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Be cautious if you go there without her OK. How long does a contact order take?
Do you mean to her house?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
There is interim order, contact order and court orders. I won't know for sure until I see my solicitor which isn't until Thursday.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
