Ruby, just read about what happened. I'm glad you've been able to turn this into a learning/awakening experience.
I found not one but many letters that Joe wrote about the OW and how he felt about me. I still remembered his words. He even wrote a poem to her and drew a flower (even though he's so not artistic.) Six months later, he had absolutely "no feelings for her." So that goes to show you.
But what matters is that you accept what is now. Your H feels the way he feels now, not the way he felt 10 years ago or the way he should feel. So acceptance is key.
Yes, acceptance that sh!t happens, there is no ground under our feet.
But really, the letter doesn't change anything, it just puts words to what has already happened, it's history. You've known most of what he wrote all along.
A favorite quote: “We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.” ~David Richo
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Yep. Really said nothing that was a surprise I guess. And if I think back, I always have been thrown under the bus these past nine months. The question now, which I have asked of others, why would I keep a friend who treats me that wAy??
So anyone ever see the play Pippin...ya, everytime I see your thread, I'm singing!!
"Yep. Really said nothing that was a surprise I guess. And if I think back, I always have been thrown under the bus these past nine months. The question now, which I have asked of others, why would I keep a friend who treats me that wAy??"
Ya, that's a very, very good thing to look at. I know that is what I keep looking at with my H right now. Now, he is treating me how I treat him. If is changes...things will be different. You deserve the best!!!!!!!!!!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Texted H last night just to ask if he was back yet (we switched places) he said he was on way back but not coming home til later. I asked "How come?" He said was meeting friends for beers.
Wednesday night was always XGF night...
So, I know I can't do anything about anything, but I think I have to step back for awhile. Will be easier once I am done course. Very tired right now and behind.
I also think it doesn't help if I stay at his place. I am constantly looking for signs that he has had someone over and it is no good for my tired mental state!!
Just deactivated FB for a while, I am very hamstery, since I am so overwhelmed with work, school etc. I think the more tired you get, the more crazy you get?
Just deactivated FB for a while, I am very hamstery, since I am so overwhelmed with work, school etc. I think the more tired you get, the more crazy you get?
Any find this correlation?
Oh yes I can completely agree... HALT, when any of this is going on watch your emotional state
h= hungry a= angry l= lonely t= tired
It's a hard walk Ruby, take your time and get around other people, socialize don't hole up somewhere and isolate yourself. If I were anywhere near you I'd take you out for ice cream... so a virtual one will have to do. (((R)))
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
