I have found that spending time with my daughter is the MOST therapeutic thing in the world!
Plus the added bonus is that women like that.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Ok, not going to spend too much time on my H & SM's comments. My short version is, it was I who pulled away from my H for a few months. I truly believed I was going to leave him. On a family vacation I decided I was no longer in love with him & was done. I had not told him, and through counciling did some work to see that I could take action to try to "fall back in love" and started to try to communicate with him that I needed help around the house. 2 months later, he told me he was having an affair & here we are. If he had continued to not be helpful & never told me of the affair, it could have been me walking away.
When I read your story, and whenever I see a man mention not helping around the house it with the kids & that their wife (WAS) complained if this, I see it as very valid. If you get honest with yourself, look within and see that is something that you indeed neglected, help out!! I had to get honest with myself about my shortcomings while putting my husbands out of my mind. I had become unorganized, so I changed that. We look at their complaints, our own self inventories, and try to change the things within ourselves that we don't like. We don't become doormats and just accept the blame for everything.
Your 180s look great! Keep it up, read all of the book. Keep posting.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Thanks, SM, for checking in. Things seem to be going better (not good, but better). The 180s and GAL stuff are becoming habits, so my mood is much better. I still slip up once a day or so by treading toward R topics; a couple of nice, calm conversations have resulted and seem to have made her more positive, but this doesn't justify the slip ups. She definitely notices the changes in me and is happy to see it for my sake.
There's a long way to go yet, but I'm seeing a tiny glimmer of hope for the first time in a very, very long time. I'll write more when I'm not working
A bit of an update that I'm sure will make sense to the old timers. After some promising conversations a week ago, the past week has been a nightmare. There's not enough storage on the DB servers for me to detail it all, but suffice it to say that it's been an unmitigated disaster. I am officially giving up
What?? Give up? Already? you are just getting started!
can you give us some details?
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
