The continual texting is tough to deal with, I know. nolongersure is right, the texting will eventually slow down. But eventually can feel like forever.
What are some of your ideas for GAL?
I'd also like to ask if pre-bomb you would have communicated with your H about something that bothered you? Or did you just swallow whatever the issue was?
I don't know enough to comfortably advise on "boundary setting". Hopefully a "vet" will come along with more guidance.
Hang in there Kelela. This is all very hard work.
Good luck on your trip to Florida. Concentrate on your wonderful sons and how nice it will be to see your family.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Inner strength- I'm sorry you are going through the same thing as I am. I know its going to be hard to ignore the constant texting between them I just need to learn to let it go and focus on myself. I'm just trying to stay positive day by day and one day I know it will get a little easier to get though this. Thank you for giving me some advice on how to handle the constant texting between the H and OW.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Mizjjd- I still haven't figure that out yet. I had approached couple of friends at work about going out with them and they said they will let me know. Other then that since I really can't do to much I'm trying to save my extra money so I can go home to my home town next year. Since I'll be on vacation for couple of weeks I was thinking maybe hanging out with my sons maybe go to the park or see how much it is to go to the local swimming pool. When I get back from Florida I may see if couple of my friends would like to meet up for dinner one night. This is pretty much all I can think of right now.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
kelela -- if it's any help, I WAS going through the same thing as you. The affair fell apart completely and he ended up taking his ex back. I still don't have my family back, but it's a start. These affairs rarely last, especially if you are DBing. Take comfort in that.
Me: 24 W: 24 T: 9 M: 6 S7, D4, S2 PA Starts, ILYBINILWY: Nov 2012 BD & PA Discovered: Jan 2013 First ML since BD: April 2013 Physical separation: Mid-May 2013
Grrrr I can't take it no more we are soppse to be on vacation as a family and H is still constantly text OW from the time he gets up until he goes to sleep I'm so tired of all this BS when is H going to wake up? I had to leave the room once again. Right now I wish we never went on this trip. His mind set is always on OW and its not fare to me and and our boys to have to watch him constant my texting and not really being here for us. Or when is this OW going to get some freakin brains to leave my H alone and get a man of her own that is not married right now I should ask him if he wants to be worth her so badly he should just leave right now I'm so done with all of this.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I so feel for you. I was on vacation with my H last month and he was emotionally not there as well. Although he didn't text OW like your H does, he called her secretly. It was easier to enjoy myself on days when I was on my own instead of dealing with his apathy, angry outbursts and 'whatever, you decide' attitude. On the 2nd last day, I finally caved in and told him (calmly and lovingly) that his attitude was hurting me, and asked that he treat me with more respect. It seemed to work for me because he was nice and attentive for the next few days. Now, he's depressed and miserable but that's another story.
So hang in there! When you feel like you're about to confront him, go for a swim or walk on your own. Don't lash out with anger. I'm sure the vets will come by with advice on boundary setting soon.
Me: 37 H: 41 M: 7, T: 11 15 Mar 2013: BD 18 Mar 2013: Discovered OW (inappropriate friendship) 5 Apr 2013: Retrouvaille Weekend 23 May 2013: Discovered EA Status: H still at home but more withdrawn
