Getting Uncomfortable

[Portia]

Tweet, Tweet MizJ!

So glad to hear everything went well. Recovery is never fun (hospital food for two weeks, need I say more?) but it is recovery!

Here's hoping that your husband slowly begins to realize how important family is to him and that the most important person is YOU. And here's hoping he decides he can change the pattern of your relationship - and make it hard for you to decide to go!

Take care!

[mizjjd]

Good evening!

So that was 2 hours of my life gone lol. Yeah, pretty ridiculous. My entire contribution was answering 2 questions, pre-hearing, from the prosecutor.
"Did you receive money from the defendant's insurance company?"
"Yes."
"Are you satisfied with the State's charge of leaving the scene of an accident or do you feel more should be done? The reason for our leniency is that the defendant has no priors and has been proven to have medical issues."
"No, the charge sounds fine to me."

Defendant ordered to pay fine of $150.00 and you are free to go. Bang goes the gavel.

Yep, would have been such a waste of my time if I wasn't going to get that "compensation" for my inconvenience. Yeppers, the state of Ohio is sending me a check for $6.00. That sooo makes it all worthwhile.

And then H texts that he's called off work for an extra day so he can stop over in Windsor at the casino on the way home.

Hah!! Next bird I hear tweeting gets it between the eyes!!

And for the icing on the cake, S20 and D18 got in a hateful argument tonight. This was at the end of a stress filled attempt to have S20 join S161 and me in a board game.
Whatever S20's issue is, playing board games brings it out in all its unbearable, cantankerous, belligerent, whiny finery.

Sometimes I really despair for my family.

Oh aaaaannnnnnnndddddd H had an emotional lunch with SIL today where they quote "traded abuse stories" from their childhood. IDK the particulars, but I guess they both got worked up from these traumatic memories. Oh aaaaaannnnnnnddddddddd SIL says MIL cheated on FIL too! Hahahahaha!

Oh my goodness. What in the world is to become of us all lol. Yes, I am losing it just a little tonight.

H's family shows itself to be more and more dysfunctional all the time. I am very interested to hear about the abuse (H said he'd share with me when he gets home). H has sort of talked "around" this topic before.

But how can he ever overcome such an upbringing? How can he ever become husband worthy material?

I feel very very bad for him, and for his sisters too. But I also see this as evidence of H possibly being so damaged that he's irreparable.

I tell you what, God clearly needs to step in here. Because this is gonna take some kind of miracle.

Sorry guys, my inner Pollyanna is hiding in the back of the closet, under the winter coat. No cheers tonight

[RosaLinda]

"But how can he ever overcome such an upbringing? How can he ever become husband worthy material?

I feel very very bad for him, and for his sisters too. But I also see this as evidence of H possibly being so damaged that he's irreparable. 

I tell you what, God clearly needs to step in here. Because this is gonna take some kind of miracle."

Holy crap Mz. Jay, what a story. I'm glad your MIL is hanging in there. I betcha your H decided to stop at the casino because he had that big bankroll you earned by testifying to gamble with. 

Everything IS possible with God, you know. And maybe your H didn't have a loving family to teach him normal family values and how to be a loving spouse, but I think that YOU can and will teach him, by your loving example. You'll see, when he finally shakes the beans out of his head. 

[job]

What a day you had yesterday! At least the court hearing is over and done with and you can now move on. Well, at least you got $6.00 out of the deal! Enough to get a couple cups of coffee. LOL!

Your h's family sounds a lot like by XILs. Hopefully your h will get his act together and soon.

Sounds like everyone was a bit tense yesterday. Maybe it's the weather...any way, I do hope today is a better day for you.

Try to enjoy your day!

[Portia]

Hey MizJ,

Stopping by to say hello and try not to spend your windfall all in one place!

[nero]

hi mzj-

just stopping in to say hi and wow, what alot you've been thru lately. i can't even imagine the joint suicide thing floating around out there for your h and his parents. wtf???

i get pain- i don't get burdening your kid with it- at any age. i guess they want to be talked out iT? how wierd to see it as an option to keep on the table. oiy...

and ya wonder what happens to these guys to make them go mlc? i read these kinds of things (i haven't read every single post of yours from day 1 - just some recent pages)

it's things like this that make me believe mwd and her opinions about mlc and it being the wacked out form of crazy it is.

sometimes i don't believe - i just judge my h and want to hate him and be done with it.

xometimes i hear about the jerky lives & parents (my own h) and so on- and i believe whole heartedly it's a form of insanity.

i just don't know anymore almost what to think about almost anything.


BUT THEN hey - maybe that is me getting more buddha like and just letting it all go - letting the (what?) universe surround me and just going with the flow????

it feels like a cop out sometimes- but allll my rigid control of self, etc. sure does not feel like it has produced any remarkable result in life.

i still subscribe to "as ye sow- so shall ye reap)" don't know why- want to stop sometimes - but plug forward being WHO I AM - and trying to not judge.

hang on- & hope your day if nice. at least we can be glad to be alive and sane & healthy - can't we???

xxoo((( )))

[mizjjd]

Linda, Snodderly, Portia and Nero (and any post-shy lurkers!)

Good morning!

Feeling a bit more myself this morning. The birds of the area may feel free to tweet away.

We seem to have escaped the worst of the storm. I hope others do as well.

The abuse stories were brief. Physical to the 3 girls, emotional and verbal to all 4.

H uses the phrase "clean slate". Says he told his S to do like he did and just start with a "clean slate" with their parents.

He touched a little bit on the stories of FILs As, but I am not about to get into a discussion about As with H. I can't keep my cool on that topic. This leads to him saying "What is wrong with you!! You have a problem!!"

And it is a big problem to me. Very very big and huge and insurmountable. "Deal breaker" in the lingo of the day.

If I were to continue M, it would have to be a big deal to H as well. Not something to be swept under the rug, not something to pretend never happened - and start with a "clean slate".

Ok, can't go down that road right now, I have stuff to do.

There's a car festival in my little town tomorrow. Idk if I'll have company to attend, but am planning on going anyway. Am still exploring school options, am looking at one that is closer now, trying to figure out finances. With H missing so much time from work lately things are extra tight. I'm trying to get back to BioLife because that extra bit helps. At least with track over I won't be missing work so my checks will go back to normal. And of course, there's always the court money lol.

H has texted that S162 (the one in FL) "has made facebook social news". I have no idea what this means. Am going to wake up S20 so he can explain. Lol, I feel so old!!

Have a great day DBers!!

Cheers

[nero]

hey -

don't feel old- it's all "relative" rite??? i'm 62 and some days feel like 162 - BUT there are times at school with kids and goofing arond i feel like one of the crowd.

the deal breaker - yeah - funny isn't it that our problems should get swept under the carpet- never acknowledged and i've gotten the "boy, you sure hold a grudge" crappola.

what a bunch of dopes - like 12 year old boys.

oh well- idk on that count if they ever will face what they do to others- maybe they'd just crack up and crumble if they ever faced (really) the repurcussions to others they "touch".

don't know- glad not to be a man-

tho, i'd like some of that "me first" attitude in life to fortify me. i wanna be happy too - i wanna do whatever i want too - i wanna have fun too -

hope your day is okay and tomorrow is fun.

facebook is nuts - i keep hearing about young people opining that they lost out on jobs (75% interviewed) because of things they put on facebook or their friends did that are un-flatering and show them in a not-so-good light.

beware kids - it's such a joke to everyone- but i'm not putting much personal out there for public comsumption. after all- do any of these folks really care? to them it's another soap opera- entertaimnent-

eek have a good day- glad you're feelin better.

[RosaLinda]

"I still subscribe to "as ye sow- so shall ye reap)" don't know why- want to stop sometimes - but plug forward being WHO I AM - and trying to not judge.

hang on- & hope your day if nice. at least we can be glad to be alive and sane & healthy - can't we???"

hi Nero! Nice to meet you! I'm not sure our MLCers will ever reap anything like the havoc they are sewing. I truly hope that my H wakes up someday, and realizes at least some of the pain and destruction he caused. But from what I've been reading, don't think we can expect them to remember much. The whole thing makes me glad to be healthy and sane too!

"He touched a little bit on the stories of FILs As, but I am not about to get into a discussion about As with H. I can't keep my cool on that topic. This leads to him saying "What is wrong with you!! You have a problem!!" 

And it is a big problem to me. Very very big and huge and insurmountable. "Deal breaker" in the lingo of the day. 

If I were to continue M, it would have to be a big deal to H as well . Not something to be swept under the rug, not something to pretend never happened - and start with a "clean slate".

Ok, can't go down that road right now, I have stuff to do"

Mz. Jay if your H said  "What is wrong with you!! You have a problem!!" NOW during a discussion about the morality of affairs, it would just be his scrambled egg MLC brain speaking.  If he said that AFTER popping out of the rabbit hole though, now THAT would be a deal breaker. At the right time, you will discuss this, he will ask for forgiveness, you will forgive and THEN the two of you will have a clean slate to start again with. 

Please put this thought and conversation away for now and go back to observing tweeting birds ok?

A car festival sounds fun! Have a good time. Did you find out about S16 making facebook social news? 

[MissAgnes]

Hi MizJ,

Just wanted to stop by and say hi. Have fun at the car festival tomorrow, and do tell if you find out what facebook social news is. I hope it's good and not bad