looking to the future

[Alan A.]

Last thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2351970&page=1

It's been a few days since I posted anything. I came to post and update and found my thread locked, so I guess it's time for a new one.

The new job is going pretty well. I was told yesterday that I am doing well enough to get out of the probationary period and starting with the next pay period I will be getting a $1 raise, so that's pretty nice. I enjoy the job and don't dread going to work like I did at my last job. I walk a mile to and from work, I should probably exercise more but at least i'm getting some. Now that it's summer break I don't have access to the gym at school.

I the day off today and talked to W to find out if she would be willing to go to a notary to sign an acceptance of service or if I would have to proceed a different way. She agreed to go to the notary so we went and did that today and I took the papers to the courthouse. Now I'll have to wait 20 days so she can file a response if she wants to. She said that she wasn't going to, but who knows.

I don't think that she will change her mind and decides she still wan't to be with me but at this point even if she did I don't trust her at all anymore and don't want to be with her.

I'm working on moving on and having a good outlook on the future. Sometimes I still get upset or mad when I think about the situation and what I have been going through but I'm trying to let go as much as I can. I need to work on being more social, doing more social things, meeting new people and making more friends to do said social things with.

[Alan A.]

W texted today and just said she would like to avoid court if we can. i didn't send anything back. I don't really want to go to court either. But there are some pretty specific requirements for a D to be processed without a court appearance. Right now we qualify but if she files a response we wouldn't anymore. basically to do it without a court appearance, as long as she doesn't file a response; I'll have to fill out some more paperwork 6/19, then wait 61 days from the date of service (yesterday) and fill out some more paperwork. then wait 4-6 weeks for the final paperwork to be processed.

I found out she was still logged into facebook on my computer and couldn't stop myself looking at her messages. she told someone that she felt like a "stepford wife" and that I never let her have what she wanted, which is total BS. She also told them that she was "holding off on relationships until the divorce was final" I really don't know whats been going with her since I moved out but I'm gonna have to call BS again because she was in R with OM when I moved out. Anyways, I logged her out of facebook so I wouldn't be tempted to look again.

[~ kd ~]

Good for your progress in your job, Alan.

Also, it is possible your W's text does not require a response. If she texts again, as a question, you might respond letting her know simply that you agree (IF you DO agree), and leave it at that.

As far as FB, good that you eventually logged her account out. It CAN be tempting. Also, disregard her comments. She's either saying what she thinks her friends want to hear, or just venting.

Keep doing what you need to do regarding the D paperwork and also, keep working on yourself and your positive changes.

[Alan A.]

Apparently there is an assistant manager position open at work and I could possibly get it if I learn everything I need to know. I'm gonna do the best that I can try to get it.

I think I'm doing pretty good adjusting and letting things go. I don't feel as much anger/resentment about what happened. I still don't want to get back together with W or trust her but I'm working on letting go.

[Alan A.]

It's been a while since I've posted anything. work is still going well, I decided not to go for the assistant manager position because it would require a commitment of 40 hours a week which I won't be able to do when school starts again. I don't remember the last time I spoke with W, it's been a while. I will file some more papers for D on the 20th. Then it will be a a little more than a month before enough time has passed to file the last papers.

I don't really miss W anymore. But I do miss having someone to share my life with but I know I'm not ready for another R and will not be for quite some time. I've been considering going to a therapist.

[Dubious Hills]

Therapy is great and might be something your school offers.