I'm not sure myself Stung, I am probably at this same point. I'm sure someone will come in with a better answer for you, in the mean time, sending you positive thoughts!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Hi stung, My heart goes out to you....sending big hugs. I am going through a lot of the same feelings, but you have been able to express them in a truly descriptive manner. Have you been journaling? I find it helps me get the emotions out so I dont hold them in. It is a challenge, but i recomend trying to step back from your emotions. Feel them and aknowledge them. Just do it as an observer it will give you a better understanding of them. I do have one more peice of advice. If the SD contacts you don't ignore it. It isn'r her fault these things are happening. She is still a child who needs you. just my 2c. keep your head up. we are all with you
I can relate with your struggles StungBT. Our time lines are similar. After 9 months of separation, working so hard to improve yourself with no sign of the spouse wanting to reconcile is a tough pill to swallow. The loneliness is the hardest part.
How long do you wait before pursuing another companion? Every situation on this board is different just like the personalities of the spouse that left.
Continue to become the best person you can be and deep down you know you did everything you could to save the marriage. Dont give up! I should really listen to my own advise
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Sadly, I don't think anyone can tell you, but you.
I can say that many times I considered it, and instead just hung in there and kept up the DBing. I have failed and backslid many times. But, things have definitely started changing for the better, if only baby step by baby step. I promised myself and my DB coach I wouldn't make any major changes if I was feeling despair or depressed.
Time is a double-edged sword. They need that time to figure out that it's not all sunshine and happiness in a new R, and you need it to heal and discover the strength that you have within you to get through this.
I received a text from him this morning asking me to put his mail outside so he could pick it up. It surprised me because he has't seen me in so long I would have though he would have wanted to. Even if it was to just get his mail.
Sadly, I don't think anyone can tell you, but you.
I can say that many times I considered it, and instead just hung in there and kept up the DBing. I have failed and backslid many times. But, things have definitely started changing for the better, if only baby step by baby step. I promised myself and my DB coach I wouldn't make any major changes if I was feeling despair or depressed.
Time is a double-edged sword. They need that time to figure out that it's not all sunshine and happiness in a new R, and you need it to heal and discover the strength that you have within you to get through this.
I'm in the same boat Mile High - get to the point of throwing in the towel, only to find something positive on this forum which makes me realize that I'm not really ready to yet, although things in my sitch haven't started improving yet.
It's surprising how strong we can be when we need to be. I know that if anyone had told me a year ago that this is where I'd be now i'd have told them no way because H would be out the door so fast that he wouldn't know what hit him.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
We still have had very little communication. He only talks to me via email when he needs something. However today might have pushed me over the edge.
He asked if his daughter (17) could stay with me until Sunday. I wasn't sure but I have known her since she was little. Her dad said she could stay with friends but thought it would be better if she stayed with me. Ok I didn't fall for that part; however I called her and asked her what she wanted. She wants to stay with me but only tomorrow and Thursday. She had already made plans with her friends for Friday and Saturday. So I agreed.
Well I spied and found out he bought an airline ticket that will have him gone for just about two weeks, oh yeah the trip is for work and ow will most likely be there.
I have no clue what to do with this. One of my friends says I should consider myself lucky that at least I know and could plan appropriately, what do you all think? I am so mad at myself for allowing this. I want to see my stepdaughter but he is abusing the situation
I am not using her to get information or trying to win him over I agreed SI ply because she wanted to stay with me and I like her but two weeks is a long time to assume I have no plans. Labor Day is even in there
