Shew, we have so many pictures in our house. That will be tough to do. Do you just put them in a box? Do you have a bonfire?
make sure you think that through, taking down photos and rearranging. I say that since you have children.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I like what AnotherStander suggests. If you want to write her a letter, go ahead and do it. Just make sure it comes from a place where you are at peace with her leaving. However you word it, I would let her know that you love her and you want her to be happy. You would prefer that she stayed, but you are willing to let her go. Whatever you write, you need to make it your last communication. She should be the one to initiate talk about you two as a couple. You need to be prepared to move on.
Don't walk on eggshells around her anymore. It tells her she has you on puppet strings. Don't actively try to offend or upset her. You just start being Grizz again. Live your life. Be yourself. Surround yourself with good, safe people who love you and are your friends.
It's your call on whether or not to help her move. I'm not sure I could do it. Dobson says open the door. He doesn't say help them leave. Btw, I think it's good that she be the one who leaves. Her leaving makes it obvious to everyone that this is HER choice and not yours.
I just read a book in PDF format. The title is Surviving Your Wife's Midlife Crisis. Its written by Christine Schaap. You might want to check it out. She writes from her own experiences of being a WAW. I have found her writing and her resources found on Path Partners to be very helpful. U might want to check her stuff out.
I just read a book in PDF format. The title is Surviving Your Wife's Midlife Crisis. Its written by Christine Schaap. You might want to check it out. She writes from her own experiences of being a WAW. I have found her writing and her resources found on Path Partners to be very helpful. U might want to check her stuff out.
Where'd you find the book? Amazon doesn't seem to have it.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Grizz, sounds like you are getting great advice and may be in a better place this week.
Thanks for sharing your situation, it has been helpful to many.
Thoughts and prayers are with you - stay strong!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
Hey PF, haven't seen you around in a while. Thanks for your comments. I have come to accept my sitch and accept that she is leaving. Not sure if the acceptance makes it any easier though.
I still don't know if I am going to help her move. She may not even want me to. It hasn't been discussed.
My anger has really been tough to get over. More hurt than anger I guess. I just withdraw alot and it comes across as me being a big ole prick.
I do need to let her go or I will go insane. I believe either JP or Chris has said the same thing.
I will definitively look into the PDF. Thanks again. I am going to go look for your update.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
OK AS, you need to write a book on validating. Is it plagiarizing if I just write what you wrote? I can definitely see the difference in what we both have written.
LOL! Feel free to use it as-is or modify to suit
Quote:
The end seems near and I am just trying my best to keep PMA.
You never know, sometimes S is the beginning of healing and mending the M. A lot of stagnant sitches end up reconciling after time apart. And even if that doesn't happen, S will bring you the detachment and independence that isn't possible when under the same roof. It'll be difficult at first, but I think you'll be surprised at how quickly the healing proceeds after you get past that initial dip.
It feels kinda like waiting on a surgery. You are nervous about it if it is scheduled a few weeks away but you wish it would happen tomorrow to just get it over with.
So W is fixing D hair for dance pictures. She asks me if I want to learn how to do it. I said that's ok. She said I may need to know how some day. I said I am sure I could find someone to do it (not meaning it to be a jab at her). She rolled her eyes and shook her head. I said what. She said "nothing".
I can't win. I thought I over analyzed things. I thought I had done a good job being cordial over the past few days and now she thinks that I am "sticking it to her" (for any Seinfeld fans out there). "Sigh"
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
Honestly, Grizz I was thinking to myself that I need to learn how to do D3's hair earlier this AM
The transition to Mr. Mom is pretty tough but im doing it with a smile on my face because I am out-momming her mom.
Joke away all you want wifies....Ill go handle my responsibilities AND yours and when you come back and wonder why I have the awesome bond with my daughter and you dont - My Daughter and I will giggle to each other in front of your face and not share our secret.....
you have some transitions ahead of you- but when the dust is settled you will have ALOT more total control over your emotions.
Stay cool and in control my friend- your looking for "Style points" over the next few weeks. Behind the scenes when noone is around...punch, throw, heave, cry away.
Ill be there soon too im sure- So im looking for you to teach me how to survive this
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
