Too late to the party...

[Twisted]

Thanks for the forum - newbie here.

We are both 33, married June 2007. 1 Child (F5) together and she has 1 Child (M13) from a previous relationship.

January 2013 she started an EA with a 21 year old friend of her younger brother after he moved 3 hours away.

The fighting over the EA started and progressed to a point where I went to stay at my parents house... and was crawling out of my skin because she started "hanging out" with the OM. February 28 I went home and told her if she wanted out, she needed to leave. She went to stay at her moms house, and came home to "work on it" a few days later.

She claimed to have stopped contact with OM, but I caught her texting him with an app on her phone so I couldn't see it on my phone record.

4/2 she told me she wanted a divorce and has been staying at her moms house at night. She comes over during the day to take care of the kids while I work, and when I get home she leaves.

I've begged, pleaded, cried... all of the wrong things. This past weekend I went out of town for a "guys weekend" and cleared my head. I came home and I am no longer chasing her.

She's 33.
No job.
No child support for her son.
No real "family" support.... alcoholic mom, dad that left her as a baby and comes around now.


I feel sorry for her because she has nothing, and will end up going down a really bad path... which I have to watch. Do I just let her go and move on? I don't want her back in the condition she's in, I want to help her fix the deep issues that bother her and try to rebuild this marriage.


Sorry if the post is choppy - there's so much going upstairs that it's hard to get it all down.

[RealityTrip]

Hi Twisted. I'm really sorry for what you and your W are going through but I am glad you found the forum.

Time is on your side. You don't have to move too quickly. Stay calm and keep reading. I'm fairly a newbie too so I am most definitely here for moral support but a lot of your advice will come from the vets.

You should repost under the Newcomer's forum. It gets the most traffic and the vets are always there to give guidance.

For what it's worth friend, you can't "fix her". Only she can. Take care of yourself and your kids. Focus on that for now. Keep reading and get over to the Newcomer's forum!