The past couple months have seen many changes. I'm not going to go into too much detail here, but from everything I see and hear from her, W has made the choice to really work on our M.
Things have been really good....in fact, better than I can ever remember. It's hard to explain, but "it" is there. I really feel an amazing bond with W...and I think she feels it too. We have been to hell and back...on our own separate journeys...but we both understand what that entailed. W is really making an effort to understand and meet my needs and make this a 2-way street again. It really hasn't been too hard of a transition for us either. I kept the road home paved and smooth...it was just a matter of her deciding to start her journey along it.
It is something of a coincidence that this is my 9th thread, as W and I celebrated our 9th Anniversary three days ago. It wasn't anything too crazy or over the top, just a nice dinner together. But it was great....really, really great. We enjoyed each other's company and talked about any and everything the entire time. One of the waiters at the restaurant even stopped by to say happy anniversary. When we told him it was our 9th, he said "wow, you guys must be doing great to have made it that long and still be talking to each other like you have been".
When we got home, I gave W a small gift and I told her I wasn't sure we'd make it here...but I'm glad we did. She replied with "me too". And then exchanged ILY's...for the first time in over 3 years.
So, on a related note, if you've been following the TV show "The Office" and what's been going on with Jim and Pam....wow, I can relate. I don't think I've ever seen a better insight into the mind of a WAW. Pam talking about her "blocked-up heart" and the hug scene at the end had me in tears. Their M isn't fixed, but they both remembered why they want to fix it...which is right where I think W and I are at.
In other news - W's last day in her job is today. She is really looking forward to being done with it and being back at home with the kids. W has agreed to go to MC, but I haven't really pushed for it too much since she agreed to go. We both know what we need to do - and I'm not sure a C will do much for us. I'm still undecided on that. I'm thinking Retro or a military couples weekend retreat may be much better for us, so I'm looking into those now.
Lots of work to do for both of us, but today, 850 days after the bomb, I can safely say that we are moving into piecing.
There are a million other details I'm sure we could discuss, but I'll start a thread over in piecing to bring those up.
For those beginning their journey here, a few bits of advice: Have a beginner's mind (what you know is what got you here!), assume nothing except that you know nothing, keep the faith, work as hard as you can to be the person that only a fool would leave, and always leave that door cracked just a bit. Take care of yourself - don't be selfish, but at the same time don't be selfless.
Thanks so, so, so, so much to everyone that has helped me get to this point...there's no way I'd be here without you.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Kaffe, thanks! W has cut it back on her own quite a bit...as long as things keep going in that direction I'm not planning on making an issue of it.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Hi Navy I just caught up and I am so happy for you and your family! :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
thank you for letting us know.