Pretty much a newbe posted once but never seen it show up and i cant search it for some reason.
We were togther for 19 years married 12.5, my wife was the first woman i ever loved. we have two children D-8 & S-11 they are the most important thing in our lives.
My wife worked partime after my son was born, then my daughter was born and she was a stay at home mom adn was a great wife and mother. Then the kids got older and she went back to school graduated a RN and worked partime till a full time position opened up, then she decided that she was done and moved out said im leaving lets work on things... she never worked on anything at all then, 9 months later i filed and then 4 moths later we were D.
We had our ups and downs but nothing any other marriage hasnt had may 28 our D will be final for 1 yr and I still love her and want her back. She says she never forsees us getting back togeether ever. I want to take my kids to Disney and she always wanted to do that trip. my question is do i ask her to go with us or do i just take my kids and have fun?
It would probably be a good idea for you to start a thread in the Newcomers (or possibly MLC) forum as those tend to have more activity and you may get more support. You could also continue to post on either of your original threads above, if you would like to do that.
I do understand that you want your ex back, and that COULD happen. It is going to be very important for you to come to terms with that possibly not happening.
In order for your ex to consider getting back together with you, she will have to have done what she needed to do to figure out her own life, she will have to believe that there has been positive changes in you and that they are permanent, so things don't go back to the way they were, and finally, she will have to begin to connect with you again, which may take a long time, if it happens at all.
I suspect she is still very aware that you are not done and that you haven't moved on. And, you may still be coming across as pursuing her, which could continue to be pushing her away from getting to close to you.
What are the positive changes have you made in yourself over the past 2 years?
Kaffe thank you for your response I will be honest with you i dont really know how these BB work and I dont even know how to move this over to another forum.
to answer your questions
The most postive change i have made is learning how to be the best person and Father I can be and be more attenitive to others feeling.
I have been dealing with past hurts and anger and asking for forgiveness as well as forgiving for thing that has happend in the past and repairing broken down relationships with my family.
I have been doing consuling (I would of never thought about that ever) and my life revoles around my kids and being a good father which i wasnt the best father I worked way to much they are the most important thing to me. Definitly turned into a famliy man.
Stared going back to church and beliving in GOD to help me through this I found a great church near by i love it there and so do my kids.
I have started seeing OW but only on a friend basis.
I have I plan trips with my kids which i have a question about im going to take my kids to Disney I know this will hurt My XW badly because we both wanted to take them there when they got older so i was thinking of asking her to go? Good idea or bad idea? Im not taking them to hurt her I have just been saving up to take them and i dont want them to loose out on a wonderful trip while they are still young enough to enjoy it.
I also have made up a list of items that i relized i have done through out my marriage to my XW that hurt her so badly, I want to sit down and talk with her and as her for forgiveness not for pursing her but to help me move on and not feel so much guilt. I this a bad idea or not?
Just an updatefrom yesterday i know im under moderation and the reply was not posted before i made arrangements to see my XW and go over my list of items that i need to own up for in this list of items where things that I did or ways i acted to hurt my wife.
I wrote everything down in a book and i respectfully asked her if she would mind if i read them to her she said yes. I went through my list and at the end asked her for forgiveness and she said I forgave you along time ago and came over and gave me a hug.
We talked and cried and I told her that i want to be here for her and hear her not just listen to her. At some point and time in the conversation she said I dont know if I want to get back together Im scared and I said I totally understand and said im not asking you to come back but if we worked on things and it happened good even if it took 2 years im good.
Then I told her Im taking my kids to Diseny World, and she said i knew it if you do that that will hurt me more then any of the hurt you have caused me in the past 15 years. I said OK would you like to come? Her response was no your only say this because its an after thought i said no i called your dad and invited him and your mom to come along with us if they would like, and i also told him i was going to ask her. My kids are very close to grandma and grandpa and grandpa isnt in the best of health so i want to make some good memoeries with grandparents and us.
