I am thinking of inviting OM out for a drink. I have not met him, and just want to defuse the situation. He's not going to disappear, unfortunately, and I don't like that our meeting has become charged in my imagination. I don't like being afraid. Thoughts?
I am thinking of inviting OM out for a drink. I have not met him, and just want to defuse the situation. He's not going to disappear, unfortunately, and I don't like that our meeting has become charged in my imagination. I don't like being afraid. Thoughts?
Don't do it!! W will perceive it as an attempt by you to control things. The chances are very good that the OM will decline anyway, then he'll tell W about your invitation and she will go freakin' ballistic. I've seen it happen before!
I am thinking of inviting OM out for a drink. I have not met him, and just want to defuse the situation. He's not going to disappear, unfortunately, and I don't like that our meeting has become charged in my imagination. I don't like being afraid. Thoughts?
Nothing good will come of it.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
No, the idea was that eventually I'm going to meet the guy. To avoid a scene, I thought we could make that a time when it was just me and him. I have thought about meeting him with a baseball bat, and that is why I would want to do this, to get rid of crazy thoughts like that. I would plan on keeping it short and not to the point. I don't think that this guy is my problem. He's being selfish and acting badly, but he's just a stranger to me. I wasn't planning on saying anything like that to him, just mention the weather and sports. I don't want to be his friend, but I don't want to be enemies, and I definitely don't want to slink around trying to avoid him any more. But fine, bad idea. I won't do it. That's what this forum is for.
I met with my OM twice post BD (I knew him prior to that). I honestly don't know how you haven't approached your OM by now, but the other people's advice is probably good so I won't offer anything contradictory. My encounters were just to set the record straight, man to man, on what type of behavior I expected and would tolerate. It certainly wouldn't have included drinks with him or to try and get to know him better. Eff that.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I think that I need to focus on my GAL, more. I have some professional-ish side jobs that I want to pick up. I talked with a friend with some experience and we'll start on an idea next week. On exercise, I've always been pretty healthy, but that's not going to last if I keep coasting like I have been. Public commitment here that I will exercise every day (every little bit counts). I want to run three days and do strength three days and yoga on Sundays, but if I'm turning in for the night and remember I haven't worked out, I will hit the floor for pushups right then. I will write every day. I have so much going on in my head I just need to vomit in ink for a few minutes for my sanity. I want to play more music, but I'll commit on that once I have shoved those others into my life over the next month. I'll check in here with progress reports. Thanks for all the support, everyone!
