Pretty sure its near the end!

[jaytee35]

Well, I had a backslide today and decided to contact my wife after 27 days of absolutely no contact. We spoke via email. It started by me just asking how she was doing and inviting her to coffee. She refused my invitation and responded with extreme bitterness over what I am asking for financially in the divorce proceedings. She believes that I was only in the relationship for financial gain. I tried to explain to her that I am just protecting myself through the proceedings and I am not interested in financial gain but rather interested in fixing our marriage. I made it clear that our marriage is more important than any financials will ever be.

She then responded with telling me that she does not want any contact with me what so ever and if I continue to contact her then she will be forced to take further action.

I do not understand why she is so bitter still. I have decided to close the case and sign the divorce papers with no intent of financial gain. It will be uncontested at this point. I am absolutely drained emotionally and believe at this point it is better to just "let her go" and prove to her by this that all I ever wanted was to work on our marriage. Not gain anything financially.

If anyone has any thoughts on this it would be appreciated. Is it better just to sign off and "let her go" at this point???


Love my wife dearly but my emotions have run dry....I do not feel it is healthy for me to go on like this. I guess if it is meant to be, god will bring her back in my life

[~ kd ~]

Do what you feel is necessary.

I understand why you would just sign the D papers and let it go. Still, are you doing it because it's easy? Or trying to please her? Or just to close this chapter of your life... to move on...?

I don't know how long the two of you had been together. I would say that as you were M for only 3 months, if the two of you left what you brought with you to the relationship and split what you received as a M couple for the M, that would be about it.

Unfortunately, you received a horrible response when you contacted her and you have now received her ultimatum.

I would recommend that you take the time to work on yourself and get back on your feet. Learn from this, grow through this, become and even better person than you already were, and move forward.

It is hard not having closure, but you may never have that closure. It svcks, I know. You never know what amazing things are in store for you, in your future.

[jaytee35]

Kaffe,

Thank you for the support. I am doing it because I feel at this point time that by fighting in court all I am doing is pushing her further away. I feel that if I just let her go, it will be my only chance for future reconciliation. I also am an emotional wreck and just dealing with the court proceedings is inhibiting me from getting on and GAL. Just cannot do it emotionally anymore. I also love her and want her to be happy. If letting her go brings her happiness I am willing to do so. This was all her decision to divorce and I need to get over it. I cannot heal until I let it go. I do not want to be bitter just want to get better. I feel the right thing to do in gods eyes is to let it go....

[AnotherStander]

Well, I had a backslide today and decided to contact my wife after 27 days of absolutely no contact.

I don't think you backslid, after that much time it was reasonable to try to reach out to her. It didn't go well, but that's not because you backslid, it's just because of her attitude.

I have decided to close the case and sign the divorce papers with no intent of financial gain. It will be uncontested at this point.

Be very careful, don't capitulate and give her everything she wants out of a possibly misguided notion that it might improve your chances of reconciliation. I don't know if what you're asking for is unreasonable, but if it is reasonable and she's calling it unreasonable then that's her problem, not yours. If you back down now she may lose what little respect she has left for you, so backing down is not necessarily the right answer.

I am absolutely drained emotionally and believe at this point it is better to just "let her go" and prove to her by this that all I ever wanted was to work on our marriage.

I don't think it would prove that to her at all. If anything, backing down and not fighting makes it appear that you want the divorce no matter what it costs you.

[jaytee35]

Another stander,

Thank you for the input. So you think by me throwing in the towel will make her lose more respect for me? I am very confused because I keep reading to not argue with your WAW and to agree with the break up in order to move forward.

I did already contact my lawyer and tell her that the only thing I wanted was for the WAW to take care of all my lawyer fees and court fees as well as the last outstanding bill we have from the wedding. I feel since she is the one that wants the divorce this is not unreasonable to ask.

The reason I decided to back off on asking for the alimony is because in our last conversation, she specifically said that "it is clear that all I want out of our relationship is financial gain, and she has no interest in communicating with me at all" so that is pretty much why I am backing off.

I really do not want to give up but emotionally I am drained.....I am going back to going dark through this process and only responding if she contacts me. I am starting to really feel like she is slipping away. Any other ideas of what I should do at this point.

I am GAL, 180ing and I tried the LRT. Starting to lose hope!

[jaytee35]

Also,

I have mad it very clear to her over the past 3 months that I want nothing more but to work on the marriage and I absolutely do not want a divorce. So she knows where I stand on regards to that. But I just feel that if I continue to contest the divorce it is only going to build more resentment and yes the chance of reconciliation will be reduced greatly........