WW is deep in a 2.5 month affair. I caught her 4 times lying and running off to see him. Married 13 years btw, 3 kids, 13,9,6. She decided to leave, came back 2 days later. I talked to the OM he said they planned to continue the relationship blah blah blah. He told me my WW said our marriage had been virtually over for 8 years, i moved out then had to come back because i had nowhere to go but was staying in basement. Told him i slept in same bed, cuddled, had sex with her 4 times during their affair. He was taken aback. She left me after that he said he would take her but with strict boundaries. Whatever that meant.
Well shes demanded divorce numerous times but she wont file or talk to me about the details. Shes living with him, all week ive been getting i love you texts, i wanna work on the marriage, i really wanna be home crap. She comes over tonight thinking we had something to work on but i realize shes way deep in the fog. Its not right i ask people about the OM, it makes her look foolish. All the bad rumors ive heard about him are just lies. If you really loved me you'd understand what i'm going through.
So i tell her you need to tell him about our convos all week. demands i delete my texts first. then says she'll tell him but she shouldnt have said any of it until she had her head on straight. With the texts i have to much ammo on her she says. Well i deleted them but only after i backed them up and printed out a copy. Should i present these to the OM to drive a wedge in the affair? Its gonna piss her off but i dont really care at this point.
i am no expert here by no means, but is sounds like everyone knows she is having an affair with this guy so exposing her really will have no affect IMO. he is obviously not married so again nothing exposure is going to do...but exposing your W texts to him might help deteriorate his illusion of the R he thinks he has with your W.
Not sure how this guy thinks having boundries in his R with your W is going to work when in fact she is still married to you.
my thoughts are GAL - she is bouncing between the fog of having an affair and having a family....she is going to have to choose. take time to work on you, because no matter what happens you will still be there in the end.
again i am not the best person to ask knowing my story - good luck
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this difficult issue. I strongly suggest you speak with a Divorce Busting Coach before presenting those texts to the OM. Your DB Coach will help you decide what actions are best for accomplishing your goals and getting your marriage on track -- and will help you figure out if you are doing any things that may actually be getting in the way of saving your marriage. You can speak with a DB Coach today. Give me a call at 303-444-7004.
