Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
lol, I think I made the 195kg typo. Still, I'm about your height and your age and am at 59kg (130lbs). Not much muscle but also very little fat. I think if you lost the 22lbs you hope to, the 180lb or so weight would be great.
Of course, that doesn't really matter. The point is, your W is using your weight as an excuse.
A WAS is generally a person who decides that they are living in an unhealthy relationship. The complaints they have are mostly valid and they do not see a way out, except to leave.
Someone in a life transition, may question their life and their M and begin to have ideas that there's more to life and they want to seek happiness by leaving the M.
Someone in mid life [b]crises[/i] is... in crises... Everything that is wrong with their life, currently and in the past, is someone else' fault. They are confused, they are not sure what they want, but they don't know what to do about it. They start doing things and hiding it from people, especially the spouse. They feel trapped and they feel empty...
Your W may not be crises, but she's certainly in transition. Yes, she's confused as well. She is seeking help from counsellors, yoga, new age reading...
If she starts re-writing your M history (pointing at only the bad, as though there was no good), blaming you (and others) for the problems in her life, not seeking help except to get validation for how she's making the right decisions... IOW, if she is not looking inward to work things out, she is quite possibly MLC.
We talk about keeping the road home "paved and smooth". If you want to save the M, if you want to spend the rest of your life M to your W, then you will want to work on yourself during this time (consider it an opportunity for your own growth) and make sure there's no road blocks that you place which could prevent her from wanting to come back, if she chose to.
I think it is really good that your W is looking inwards to solve her problems. Are there any other complaints regarding you that she mentioned, that you believe are valid and want to make better in yourself?
I reposted to new thread when it took awhile to be moderated. I thought it might be lost.
Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
I should have also said WAS is extremely protective of OM and their home, she will always look to drop off or collect from mine and avoid me being anywhere near OM or her new life. I called her on the phone a few weeks ago and she asked why I called that number.
Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of behaviour from a WAS.
Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
I have checked in from time to time and have not posted regularly. Life has been a bit of a roller coaster and I have been flat out at work and getting my house back in order after WAS left in May and moved her belongings out in July. It is slowly coming together and has taken a lot of time away from my cycling. When I have the kids there is a lot of talking and supporting as S8 is finding it difficult to adjust to living with OM and WAS.
I am still working on detachment, I know I have a long way to go as I still get angry with emails she will not speak by phone and uses emails and texts). I will not reply by email or text unless it is straightforward as it all gets misconstrued. It is not good and I am not making contact and only limited responses to electronic communication.
Yesterday she emailed to ask say I could spend my birthday evening with the children if I wanted and then asked if we could swap our schedule the weekend before I leave for Australia with the children. I really resent the way she positions something as a good gesture but is really only wanting to get something she wants, that is a change in the schedule later. I have replied by saying lets just leave the schedule as it is, I will celebrate with the kids over the weekend. I remaindered her she has not acknowledged my email with changes to her proposed schedule for the children in 2014.
I guess the details are not important, what I beat myself up is still being disappointed when she acts this way, and still feeling angry about it. I mustn't let her actions affect the way I feel.
Positive steps, I have started a diet 5:2 to shed some weight and am keen to get out on my bike again and training. Very keen to shed 15 kg. I am doing loads with kids and they are happy with me D5 has been really sweet all weekend and S8 is loving cooking with me, we do a great Spag Bol.
WAS views me as angry, so I need to pull back and be calm, but also be strong as she will try and exert control as she always has.
Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
I still react to her emails. Positively because I am being firm with her and not being manipulated, however I think it is time to go dark.
Me 44 WAS 41 T 11 S 8 D 5 DB November 2012 EA and PA discovered December 2012 WAS moved out 4 May 2013 Share residence of S and D 50/50 WAS moves in with OM 1 September 2013.
Still, I'm about your height and your age and am at 59kg (130lbs). Not much muscle but also very little fat. I think if you lost the 22lbs you hope to, the 180lb or so weight would be great.