Channeling my inner Beyonce, busting a few moves in the process...
Unfortunately, my moves are more like the Justin Timberlake SNL "Single Ladies" skit! Lol!
I wanted my new thread title to be "H used to like it, wish he'd remember why he put a ring on it" but I couldn't get it to fit.
I mean really... Our spouses once thought we were good enough to spend the rest of their lives with, so our new found place of being chopped liver kinda svcks.
So... I went with another Beyonce song - Irreplaceable.
Because really, WE are irreplaceable. Even if our jello- brained spouses don't realize it.
I 100% believe that if things don't work out between us, it is his loss. Not that I won't be sad - but could I find someone who isn't a selfish, self-centered, cheating, spend your families $ on your ho bag liar? I think it wouldn't be hard to trade up in that scenario!
Now my real H - again - THAT guy was amazing. But I'm not going to hold out forever for him.
And other things in our lives are irreplaceable - our dignity. Self- respect. Honor. Family and friends. Every minute spent with our children.
UW, you had mentioned in a previous post that my H may be well on his way to hitting rock bottom, and one of the reasons being that he sees me moving on with my life.
I think you may have something with that... Damn, you're good.
So, my parents usually take the boys once a week for a few hours in the evening to give me a break and also spend quality time with their only grand kids. They have been doing this for awhile now.
A month or so ago, H got irritated with me because he claimed I didn't tell him till the last minute when they were taking the boys. He accused me of doing it on purpose, and wanted to know why.
I asked him, what reason would I have to purposely tell you last minute? He didn't know. I also said that sometimes my parents contact me last minute, or I just forget to tell him - which is the truth.
I have been making more of an effort to let him know what the plans were.
Now today, he was supposed to be with his "brother" after work. So I thought it would be nice to see if my mom wanted to meet the boys and I for dinner (my dad was working). I didn't bother to tell H the plans. He usually doesn't roll home till 8,9, 10:00 anyway.
He calls me on the way home, asks me where I'm at, and says that his parents stopped over the house to drop some things off for the boys. Then he says he is on his way home too. I say something like - oh, I thought you were meeting your brother, and he says that he did for a little bit. I tell him then that the boys and I were meeting my mom for dinner - and he got very irritated. Wanted to know why he is the last to know these things. Huh???
He was okay when we got home, probably because his parents were here. I invited his parents to come with us, but they had already eaten. When I left with boys, H seemed almost a little sad, told me to have a good time. He was okay with me once we got back, and for the rest of the evening.
So....
I don't know what really happened with him today. There was a bigger hole in his story than the freakin' Titanic, by I'm not questioning it. I wonder if he worried about his story with his parents (they talk to his brother all the time). Who knows.
Bottom line for me - if I want to make plans to see my parents (or anyone else), I don't need to inform him of this. If he wants to be out doing whatever with whoever, I'm not gonna sit around boo-hooing about it.
And I think he's starting to realize that.
Goodnight
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
"Two awesome ladies sharing laughter, crazy H comparisons, life stories, maybe a tear or two, and definitely a big gallon of ice cream."
^^^^^ Ayep. True dat! LOL!
And you are right, your h's gotta deal. He is making his choices without regard to you. You are living your life. Too bad for him if he doesnt like it.
TV, I had to chuckle over your posting. It's the old "do as I say and not as I do" cliche. Poor man, he doesn't get it. You are moving on w/your life and doing what you need to do for you and your children.
He had made plans, so what were you suppose to do? Sit home and wait on him to come home? I don't think so. He's getting a good tast of what the consequences of his actions are and he's not happy about it. Poor man.
I'm so glad to see you and wishing sharing and laughing over their antics. You can't make this stuff.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I mean really... Our spouses once thought we were good enough to spend the rest of their lives with, so our new found place of being chopped liver kinda svcks.
Yes it does. But there's no accounting for taste
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I've been reading the archives, and someone posted that the biggest changes they saw in their sitch was after they threw in the towel and went their own direction. I can see how I could definitely get to this point.
Originally Posted By: Takevowsserious
UW, you had mentioned in a previous post that my H may be well on his way to hitting rock bottom, and one of the reasons being that he sees me moving on with my life.
I think you may have something with that... Damn, you're good.
These points haven’t gone unnoticed by me either. It seems the timing of this is of utmost importance if you want to save the marriage though. You know, like not until they've had their chance to figure out on their own the grass isn’t so green on the other side afterall.
I’m subscribing to your new junk box thread!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I mean really... Our spouses once thought we were good enough to spend the rest of their lives with, so our new found place of being chopped liver kinda svcks.
Yes it does. But there's no accounting for taste
Which cheese goes best with chopped liver??? I'm on it!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Speaking for accounting for taste...I read on a website a LBS posted, "they get sirloin steak at home but everyone craves some White Castle now and then, after all they are open 24/7" lol
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
