A little bird told me that some of you were asking about me, so I thought I would stop by and say hello, and give you all an update. I hope you are all doing well, and I look forward to reading the updates on everyone.
I am doing very well these days, and have been for quite a while actually. It's almost surreal to re read some of my old posts, especially from the beginning because I sounded hopeless. I remember those days all too well. I couldn't eat, sleep, nothing. It took everything in me to get out of bed in the morning. The people on this board were my lifeline, the only people that I felt knew what I was going through. The emotional roller coaster was long, and not my idea of a good time, but once I made the decision to get off, things became a lot easier. Sure, I was still a bit dizzy from the ride, but it felt good to be back on my feet. I spent over 2 years in counseling, working on myself and working through the loss of my marriage, and I am in a much better place. My ex may have been the one who shut the door, but I was the one who locked in and decided to move forward and not look back. Some days were easier than others, but I knew that I was going to be ok with or without him. My life wasn't what I had originally anticipated, but it turned out to be better.
I haven't had any contact with him since our D was final. He had sent a few emails asking to get together and talk, but i ignored them. There was nothing left to be said. We didn't have any property or children together and there wasn't any point. The most recent one was on Christmas and nothing since and that's just fine with me.
I realized that I needed to go through all of this in order to find the inner happiness that I never felt before. I am a completely different person than I was 2 years ago and it's for the better. I still maintain that I am not an expert on what makes a relationship work, but I sure seem to know a lot about what doesn't work.
I'm not dating anyone and that is fine with me. I've talked to a few people online but nothing significant has come from them, but I know that when and if someone special comes in to my life, I'll be much better equipped to have a healthy relationship.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I've met someone. We met online, but the funny thing about it is we live 2 blocks from one another, grew up in the same town and I graduated with one of his siblings. We've gone out a few times, nothing serious, but I really enjoy his company. I have to say though, it's so nerve racking to be out there again. I have so many fears and insecurities that I don't know if I'll ever get over but I'm trying.
However, I am 90% positive that my ex got wind that I am dating someone, because I received an email from him earlier this week. I haven't had any contact with him since our hearing last fall. He's emailed a few times and I've never responded. He told me that he has been thinking about me a lot lately, and knows that I probably won't respond to him, but he is wondering how I'm doing.
Really? After 2.5 years you're wondering how I'm doing? The fact that he tried to contact me is almost laughable. Needless to say, I won't be responding.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Really? After 2.5 years you're wondering how I'm doing? The fact that he tried to contact me is almost laughable. Needless to say, I won't be responding.
How come? Why is a laughable?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
